“You boys sure do smell like reefer!” said the elderly ticket taker. It was September 23, 1994, and I was going to the premier of “Pulp Fiction” with my college buddies. At the time, we smoked brown schwag in large quantities. You had to smoke lots of it to get high, and we sure did smell like reefer after puffing a blunt or two before going in to see that epic film. Twenty-five years later, I still like to get high before a movie, but I haven’t even smoked brown weed in almost a decade. Although I always prefer smoking weed to get high, using edibles are most conducive to going to the movies these days. There is less of a chance the weed will die off by the film’s end, and I won’t be a grown-ass man reeking of it as the teenager who inevitably knows me takes my ticket.
Thursday night, I got a ticket to the premier of “Joker” and got a can of Keef Cola Blue Razz THC Cola from Durango’s The Homestead Dispensary. Considering I didn’t know how long it would take to kick in or how long it would last, I opted to drink the Blue Razz down by the river 30 minutes before the movie started. That way it would do its thing once I was seated, and hopefully be done by the time had to drive home. It was only a 10mg dose anyway — well, 11.83mg to be precise. It took me a moment to figure out the can’s reusable pop-top, which is a pretty cool piece of technology. My first impression of the soda was that it was a soda, with lots of sugar and blue razz flavor. I am not really sure what blue raspberry is actually supposed to taste like, but it reminded me of a fizzy Gatorade. It was super sweet with 5 grams of sugar less than mainstream Colas, but with enough that I did not taste the “CO2 extracted” cannabis at all.
I am reminded of the current and popular surge of hard tonics, either THC or alcohol based, and the way we try to hide imbibing from ourselves. This Cola was no exception. If someone wanted to get high, but didn’t want to taste the weed, this would be a good option. If you like the crazy Mountain Dew or Fanta flavors, this is the consumable for you. Other Keef Cola flavors you can try include Orange Kush and Root Beer. I imagine the market for the Keef Colas are video gamers who drink soda and play for hours on end. It might not have the caffeine they crave, but they would not have to set down their controller to load a bowl: just keep cracking Keefs.
For me, one was plenty and I couldn’t even stomach drinking the Coke I paid too much for at the theater. It tasted like Blue Razz, too — I couldn’t get the taste out of my mouth. In fact, for the first time in my life, I didn’t eat much of my popcorn and didn’t even open my candy. The Keef Cola took over my stomach and taste buds, then shut the door to anything else.
The movie had been rolling about thirty minutes when I felt the effects. They came on gradually, and it was subtle enough that I wasn’t even sure at first if it was the THC or the creepy film making me feel weird. Maybe it was both. Not much dryness in my eyes or mouth, which was nice, and mostly a high that felt like a hybrid. I felt super relaxed in the stadium seats and the disturbing film suddenly became a bit more philosophical. This was exactly 63 minutes from my first sip of the soda. Normally, I wouldn’t take my phone out to see the time as it is rude, but for this review I wanted to know how much time had lapsed, and the guy next to me had his phone out the whole time anyway. If you are the man-boy with the mustache that matches his cap’s flat brim who had his phone out the whole time: you are a douche. I don’t care that you dimmed the screen. I was feeling too chill to say anything at the time, and perhaps he thought no one could tell.
The film ended around the same time as my high. It was never that strong to begin with, but it was only 10mg. My appetite never recovered that night, but I did enjoy the partnership of the Keef Cola and the movie. Based on many reviews of “Joker,” I actually ended up liking the movie more than most, and perhaps that was thanks to the Blue Razz. The ticket taker was none the wiser.
Gray Stoner
