Strain review: S99, a hybrid of Sage and Cinderella 99

by DGO Pufnstuf

Dry herb vapes are tricky beasts. They will never emit the amount of vapor that comes from, say, oil cartridges that fit in vape pens, so sometimes it feels like you aren’t inhaling anything.

The reason I bring that up is because that is precisely what happened to me while smoking S99, a strain of weed created by crossing Sage and Cinderella 99. I loaded a bowl of the sativa hybrid into a dry herb vape and then woke the sucker up. I inhaled and tasted nothing but herbal, spicy green notes. I then exhaled, but I neither saw nor felt vapor leave my mouth, so I did what any good pothead would do and inhaled more deeply. I did this several times, in fact, and each time I ended up more puzzled than the time before.

After doing the same thing over and over for several minutes, the vape powered off. Puzzled, I popped open the top and saw that I HAD been inhaling vapor the entire time. I was suddenly very, very high.

And, because I’m a jerk, I asked a friend who was over to experiment with the same vape and weed and tell me if I was trippin’ or if you REALLY couldn’t tell there was vapor coming out of the device. We loaded a second bowl of S99 and off she went. As an outsider, though, I could see that there was vapor being emitted by the device, confirming that it was working. A few minutes later, the device powered off again, and we popped off the lid to see that the second round of weed had been heated until cashed. It quickly became round two of someone else being very, very high.

Luckily, S99 is a strain that leads to a pretty pleasant type of uber-high, the kind where you’re awake, amused, and pretty darn pleasant. My body felt like it was levitating – not in a psychedelic way, mind you, but more of a “holy crap, I’m so happy with life” way. I started to notice things like how quickly your fingers have to move to type words and at one point, I repeatedly tried to close a door that was already shut. Like, I leaned my body into it because I was confused as to why it wouldn’t budge. So, yeah.

This strain also led a serious case of the munchies, which became evident right around the time my friend finished her experimental bowl. At that point, I could feel the beginnings of a definite body high, my mouth was super dry, and my stomach was howling for food. My friend, on the other hand, wasn’t so much hungry as she was stoned. I scurried the kitchen to scavenge for snacks when out of nowhere, I heard her speaking nonsense.

“I losht…I losht…”

I laughed like a jerk and then tried to decipher what she was trying to say. Apparently she had, in the process of walking from one room to another, managed to lose something, but her mouth wasn’t cooperating to form the word lost. She LOSHT it, whatever it was. Probably her sanity.

Anyway, we spent the next hour or so talking about literal nonsense, playing with slime, and shoveling food in our mouths to satiate the cravings. I passed out into a food coma at some point, which ended the fun.

To summarize my feelings on S99: This strain is really strong, but it’s a chill kind of high and you’ll like it. It’s definitely a strain I’ll keep around for when I want to embarrass my friends or test the laws of closed door physics. Fun with weed and science.

DGO Pufnstuf

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