Hi there! It’s time for another Q&A with our good buddies Blaze and Puf. These two potheads are here to answer all of your burning questions about cannabis, legalization, and other weed-related inquiries. That’s basically all they’re good for — that and smoking weed — so you might as well take advantage of their useless knowledge as you see fit.
This month, we have all sorts of awesome questions to answer for you. From whether it’s a smart idea to mail weed (hint: it’s not) to what pot tourism to take advantage of in Denver, here are your questions about pot for our in-house potheads.
Have questions to ask these two fools? Send them to [email protected] dgomag.com and we’ll do our best to answer them. And, feel free to send them allll over — your wild, wacky, and just plain weird questions about weed. Nothing shocks us at this point. And we do mean nothing.
I live in Colorado where weed is legal and want to mail a friend some edibles in Oregon where it’s also legal. Is there any way I can do this?
Blaze: Sorry, my dude. No can do. Despite marijuana being legal in both states, weed is still federally criminalized and considered a Schedule I drug by the federal government. So, if you ship marijuana over state lines (whether you use USPS, UPS, or FedEx) and if you’re caught, it can be considered a federal crime. You could end up facing felony charges, jail time, and lots of money in fines.
So, until weed becomes legalized federally (which we can only keep praying to Zuul for), you’re going to have to be satisfied with sending your friend a gift card or Venmo-ing them so they can treat themselves at their local dispensary.
Puf: Mailing weed is what I would call a completely, totally, absolutely, all-encompassingly bad idea.
So, funny story. (And by that I mean not funny and totally terrifying.) I actually know someone (who is TOTALLY not me) who got busted trying to do precisely this—but it was many years ago, so don’t @ me, feds. And, as you can imagine, getting caught was not a fun experience. It involved a very stern letter from the postmaster warning that this person had been suspected of mailing weed to another state, which violated federal law and came with a metric [email protected] ck ton of penalties if convicted. As such, they were holding this person’s package and if they wanted it back they would need to call and arrange a time to get it.
Otherwise, it would be destroyed. (I obviously cannot remember the wording, but I remember enough to know it was not a letter you want to get.) The person who should have been on the receiving end of the package also got a letter, which was scary as hell for them, too.
Picking up a package of weed was clearly not an option, so this person just let it sit there while hoping no one bothered to open it. That came with a ton of paranoia, of course, because the scary letter warning that the scary person behind the postal service knew what the moron who mailed the weed had done — so the moron just HOPED that the postal service was aware that whatever was in the tiny package could not possibly yield enough criminal penalties to justify prosecution.
But it didn’t end there. After receiving this letter, this person who shall not be named spent like a year being terrified of going to the post office, JUST in case they were slated to get arrested for drug trafficking what amounted to two small containers of weed to a depressed friend in a prohibition state.
You don’t want that type of life, bro. Or sis. Trust me. Ain’t no fun looking over your shoulder trying to figure out if you’re going to be considered the next Tony Montana because you were helping out a friend with some plants. That’s how bad things happen.
While this person obviously did not face any criminal penalties in the end, there’s no guarantee you will have the same luck if you were to get busted. The truth is that you just never know what hair is going to be up some prosecutor’s ass, and it’s just not worth the risk.
Do I think it’s fair that we can’t mail weed? Hell no. It’s dumb. We can mail booze or beer or CBD oil, but we can’t mail weed. This is some antiquated dumbness. But that’s the way it is right now — and the way it will continue to be until federal lawmakers get their shit together on cannabis. Can’t change the dumb federal laws, so you gotta comply with them — no matter how bad you want to help out a friend. Trust me on this one.
I’m visiting Denver and want to explore some of the weed tourism there. What is there to do?
Blaze: Denver has long been considered a top destination in the U.S. for weed tourism. After all, we were the first state to legalize it back in 2012. (Ed. note: OK, Blaze. We get it. You ditched the bish to move to Denver. We totally do not hold a grudge or anything.)
Because of that, there are lots of things to do in Denver if you’re wanting to fully immerse yourself in weed culture. To start, you can enjoy one of the handfuls of marijuana lounges located across the city. These establishments operate like bars, in a way, except instead of beers, it’s marijuana.
While every establishment has its own way of doing things (some require that you purchase membership while others only allow you to consume edibles), it can be a chill place to get to know other Denver stoners.
On top of that, you can take weed tours, classes where you can paint and puff, and cooking classes where you can get stoned and learn a new recipe.
Puf: Denver has SO MANY WEED ACTIVITIES! Oh, lawd. (Reverse, Terry! Reverse!)
So, your trip to Denver is going to be awesome if you plan it right. I’m not even kidding. There are so many weed-related things to entertain yourself with, and they’re all awesome.
For starters, not only can you cater a top-notch weed tasting dinner created by some world-renowned chefs, but you can stay at a weed-friendly bed and breakfast or hotel, you can visit the grow operations of numerous dispensaries, you can buy a buncha dang weed AT the dispensaries, and you can get super stoned as long as you’re not consuming in public.
AND that’s not all, friend! In addition to those awesome things, you win, on your trip to Denver, the opportunity to visit the International Church of Cannabis, where the Elevationists who worship there hold daily guided meditations and laser light shows
IN THE MIDDLE OF THEIR DANG SANCTUARY.
Is that not enough? No? Well, that’s OK, cause there’s more!
Denver also offers a ton of cannabis tours you can hop on, whether you want to take a Haunted Hash party bus or tour the inner workings of the cannabis industry. Or, you can opt to rock out with your weed out at a paint and smoke class.
Want to take a ton of weed selfies? The Marijuana Mansion is an option, too! That place is rad as hell and was literally and figuratively created for the ‘gram. So many photo ops!
Heard enough? Great. The TL;DR version is this: There are a ton of weed tourist options in Denver and the surrounding areas, so if you’re a cannabis fan, take advantage of them while you’re visiting. You won’t regret it, and all your friends will be jealous.
Weed deliveries are legal in Denver. When do you think other parts of Colorado will offer deliveries, too?
Blaze: Weed deliveries can be a convenient way for stoners to stock up on their cannabis stash without having to leave home.
Unfortunately, it’s not offered in many areas outside of Denver with exceptions like Aurora and Boulder which are located just outside of Denver.
This is because weed delivery legislation is going to be dependent on the city you live in. Your local city legislatures will be responsible for not only legalizing weed delivery but deciding on any rules and regulations that dispensaries will have to abide by if they choose to approve it.
Puf: They. Better. (Prepares to stand on a soapbox.)
It is, in my humble opinion, freaking absurd that the delivery options for weed are limited to Denver and a few surrounding areas.
But as with nearly everything else weed-related in this state, each county or city has control over what types of weed businesses, if any, are allowed within their confines. That limits things like delivery to areas where there’s support on the local level.
This remains the cause of limited delivery options in Colorado. And that’s completely and totally dumb to me, because while we were the first to legalize the good-good, we’re pretty far behind in how our market runs.
Other states, like California, have had thriving delivery options for years now — despite the fact that they legalized cannabis well after Colorado. It’s like we were the nation’s test market, and the states that have legalized after us have taken what we did and made it better and more efficient.
Case in point? My parents got weed delivered to a restaurant in San Francisco last fall because my dad’s recent knee replacement was causing issues with walking. He was in horrible pain from trekking up and down the hills of good old San
Francisco, so my mom ordered him some weed. From an app. And she unabashedly went outside of the restaurant to retrieve it when it arrived.
That’s awesome! Like, my dad probably wouldn’t have been able to make it to a dispensary on foot at that point, given the knee swelling and pain, but he didn’t have to. It came to him.
That may not seem like a big deal, but it is. The reality is that my dad isn’t the only person who uses cannabis for pain and injury relief, and there are tons of medical patients who simply just cannot make it to a dispensary — not without severe pain, inconvenience, or a lot of help.
They need an option for delivery, and hell — so does everyone else! If we want to keep stoned driving to a minimum, and if we
want to truly practice what we preach about medical marijuana, maybe we should make it a little more accessible to those who need it, right?
Right. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.
I have a conviction in Colorado from getting caught with weed way back when before it was legal. Is it possible for me to get this expunged from my record?
Blaze: In light of its current legalization, the fact that there are marijuana criminal charges still hanging over people’s heads
seems a little ridiculous. But, it happens.
In 2017, Colorado passed legislation to help people with old marijuana convictions get their records removed and sealed.
However, whether you’re able to do this may depend on what your charges were. Your best course of action is to consult with an attorney, or, depending on where you live, consult a legal clinic in Boulder or Denver counties.
Puf: OK, well, let’s insert the obligatory “I am not a lawyer; I’m just a pothead, so please do not take this as legal advice” here.
Now that that’s out of the way, here’s the deal: Yes, maybe.
You may be able to get your conviction expunged from your record, but it all depends. A few years ago that wouldn’t have been possible, but it is now!
That said, it all depends on what your conviction was actually for — and by that I mean it depends on how much freaking weed you got caught with.
Per the 2020 law that makes this possible, “the governor may pardon a class of defendants convicted of possession of up to two ounces of marijuana. While a formal application need not be filed, an individual will still have to request relief since the state has no database that identifies marijuana possession convictions.” — Colo. Rev. Stat. 16-17-102(2).
But, the maximum ounces aren’t all you may have to contend with if you want a pardon. You may also have to prove that you had a record of good behavior before and after you were convicted. Per Colo. Rev. Stat. 16-17-102:
“Good character previous to conviction, good conduct during confinement in the correctional facility, the statements of the sentencing judge and the district attorneys, if any, and any other material concerning the merits of the application shall be given such weight as to the governor may seem just and proper, in view of the circumstances of each particular case, a due regard being had to the reformation of the accused.”
So, you probably can’t get your conviction pardoned if you were busted with like kilos of the ol’ Colombian white a year after you got caught with weed or whatever, but again, I don’t know. You’d have to consult an attorney on that and not just some dumbo behind a computer.
The good news is that Governor Polis had already pardoned thousands of people for marijuana convictions that qualify. And while it’s perhaps not the fastest process, plenty of people are benefiting from it. So if your conviction is hindering your ability to do your job, or your ability to get a job, or some other area of your life, it could be worth looking into, but you’d have to talk to a real attorney with real working knowledge of all of this.
All I can really do is consult the internet and report back. That’s about all I’m good for.