“Life is this big fat gigantic stinking mess. But oddly that’s the beauty of it too.”
“To the person who lost their flash drive full of granny porn… I have your flash drive.”
“All you beautiful ladies out there – has anybody told you that you all are fascinating, smart people? Keep doing you.”
“But seriously, WTF is in the ocean?”
“Debating if I should take a shower and then get high, or the other way around.”
“The minute I decided to finish writing this paper in my bed rather than at my desk was the minute I failed.”
