Playing weed espionage with Chem Jong Un

by DGO Punstuff

Yes, it’s a real strain, and yes, it’s infinitely more awesome than the North Korean dictator, so just read the dang review

Hey there, friends! I’m going to warn you now to buckle up, because today, I’ve got a tale to tell about a strain that’s got me giggling harder than a hyena on helium – Chem Jong Un from the Green House Durango. This one’s so unique that it’s like the free world leaders decided to take a break from politics and cultivate some killer cannabis. (Not entirely sure why they’d name it after the North Korean dictator, though, but I don’t make the rules.)

Anyway, here’s the deal. So, Chem Jong Un is a hybrid strain that was created by crossing Sunshine 4 x Bitch Slap, two strains that I admittedly knew nothing about. And, admittedly still know nothing about. All I know is that its love child is a doozy.

Let’s start with the appearance of Chem Jong Un. So, one of the first things I noticed is that its buds were like something out of a sci-fi movie. These nugs were so frosty and sparkly they could give a disco ball an inferiority complex. The bright green hues were interspersed with fiery orange hairs, making it look like a Christmas tree on fire. And don’t even get me started on the trichome coverage; it’s like the plant dipped its leaves in a vat of shimmering diamonds. Let. Me. At. It.

Now, onto the aroma – Chem Jong Un hits you with a pungent and earthy scent that’s as complex as trying to decipher North Korean propaganda. I detected hints of pine and skunk with a subtle undertone of citrus. It’s like Mother Nature herself decided to concoct a gourmet dish for your olfactory senses.

And, as I rolled up that first joint of Chem Jong Un, I couldn’t help but think, “What am I getting myself into?” The name alone had me both intrigued and slightly paranoid, wondering if I was about to embark on an international espionage mission in my living room. But let me tell you, this strain is more about peace, love, and laughter than it is about nuclear secrets.

The moment of truth arrived when I took that first drag. Oh, sweet Cheesus! Chem Jong Un had me coughing like I’d just inhaled a puff of tear gas, but it was worth every choke and splutter. This stuff hit fast and hard, like an unexpected missile test in the middle of the night. My head felt lighter than a helium balloon, and I was floating through a cloud of euphoria.

My living room transformed into a surreal wonderland. The TV seemed to be playing a never-ending loop of bizarre North Korean propaganda videos, and I couldn’t stop laughing at the sheer absurdity of it all. I swear, I saw Kim Jong Un himself breakdancing with Dennis Rod-man on my coffee table. (I kid, I kid. Kind of. But that would have been freaking awesome, except for all the crimes against humanity and the terrible dictatorship business and the starving population and all.)

And, as the effects of the high settled in, time became a blurry concept. It felt like it was both flying and draggiong I munched on an entire bag of potato chips, contemplating the geopolitics of snack choices and the ethical dilemma I faced when I thought about eating a fourth Twinkie. (Spoiler alert: I have no ethics and I totally ate the fourth one.)

And, in the midst of my snacking binge, I suddenly had the solution to world peace: just get all the world leaders together, pass around some Chem Jong Un, and watch them laugh their differences away. It would be rad. But also there’s still that whole thing about weed being federally outlawed in the U.S. and all (and possessing it is a serious crime in many other countries). But if it were up to me, we’d find a way around that and this plan would work.

As the high started to mellow out, I realized that Chem Jong Un is less like the awful North Korean leader and more like a benevolent dictator of relaxation. It’s not overpowering; it’s more like a gentle reminder to take life a little less seriously. If only world politics were this chill, we’d have peace in no time.

Long story short, Chem Jong Un is a strain that’s sure to spark some unforgettable adventures in your life. It’s a hilarious, mind-bending experience that’s perfect for those who love to explore the outer limits of their consciousness while having a good laugh. Just remember, folks, it’s all in the name of fun – no international incidents here. So, the next time you’re looking for a strain that’s equal parts unique and uproarious, give Chem Jong Un a whirl.


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