Strain review: Ghost Jack from The Green House

by DGO Pufnstuf

My notes from my little foray with Ghost Jack, the strain we are reviewing this week for The Green House in Durango, are primarily just my deep, important thoughts on peanut butter cookie dough. (Read: it sucks.)

How did I end up writing on peanut cookie dough? Well, it was simple. I picked up a gram of Ghost Jack from The Green House and (of course) lit it up when I got home, not really knowing what to expect. I did no research, had no background info, and went into this little experiment blind. Here’s what I found out: this is, without even freaking checking, a strain that leans heavily toward the indica properties.

How do I know? Well, because I became a useless puddle of a human who spent an inordinate amount of time shoveling peanut butter cookie dough into my gullet before passing out in my shame after I smoked it. Only an indica would lead me down such a self-destructive, fantastic path full of cookie dough.

So it really only took one bowl to determine that Ghost Jack has some indica genes, and some strong ones at that. I packed a relatively normal-sized bowl of bright orange haired bud and smoked it, but that one small bowl of minty flavored weed did me in hard. I fell down the rabbit hole and hit the ground, peanut butter cookie dough in hand.

Well, sort of in hand. Almost immediately after I smoked the bowl I was starving, so I dragged my very stoned ass to the kitchen to dig up an emergency supply of cookie dough I’d been saving for just this occasion. Only problem was that I was so stoned off that one bowl that I couldn’t see the freaking container right in front of my face. I stood in front of the fridge and stared, convinced that some errant robber had broken in while high and stolen my snacks.

That was obviously not the case, though — I was just too high to see it in front of me.

And luckily, I realized that after several minutes of staring in horror at shelves filled with vegetables and not junk food. It was like I snapped to being lucid for a second — just long enough to find my cookie dough and then return to my bed like the sloth that I am.

Once I’d returned to said bed, I sat there and shoveled cookie dough into my mouth like a machine. I was starving, despite having eaten only a short time before.

I was starving enough, in fact, to eat that gross ass peanut butter cookie dough, which I purchased without ever realizing it was peanut butter flavored. Why on earth anyone would make an edible cookie dough in that flavor is beyond me, but alas, they did. So, if you’re buying stoner snacks, buyer beware. This type of cookie dough is a thing now.

Anyway, it obviously wasn’t that bad, or the weed was just that good, cause I sat there eating it like a total glutton before shoveling a bunch of chips in my mouth and passing out. (Side note: why do my hands always work when I’m eating while stoned but NOT while I’m trying to type while stoned. It makes no sense.) I didn’t stir at all — not that I remember, anyway, which is a feat for someone with insomnia.

So, if you’re looking to like, bulk up and take in a bunch of calories for like, gains or something, this Ghost Jack biz will hook you right up. I probably ingested 5,000 calories because of it, and it wasn’t even good cookie dough! Imagine if it had been decent.

It’ll also knock that insomnia right into another dimension, so if sleeping or eating are your end goal, this is the strain for you. Just make sure leave the snacks somewhere you can find them before you smoke it. If you do that, you should be set.

DGO Pufnstuf

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