Strain review: Kandy Kush

by DGO Pufnstuf

Earlier this week, I smoked some Kandy Kush from Chronic Therapy in Cortez and I felt like the rumbling of the air purifier in the garage was vibrating through my legs. I am dead serious. Here’s what happened.

So, thanks to the snow and all that biz, I had to split the strain reviews with our other pot writer, Sir Blaze Ridcully, and we both waited until last minute to smoke them. In our defense, we couldn’t make it out to either Pagosa or Cortez in a timely manner because, again, SO MUCH snow, so we procrastinated due to the weather and not laziness this time. Yes, there is a first time for everything.

Anywho, we were hanging out and decided to just smoke our individual strains in the garage. I went first. I took a few puffs of Kandy Kush – which I’ve been calling Kandy Krush since picking it up – an indica hybrid created by crossing Trainwreck and OG Kush, and I was impressed by how sweet this strain tasted. I have been faithfully smoking the strains out of the dry herb vape these days because I feel like you get so much more of the terpene flavor profile that way, and in doing so, it made this strain taste so lemony and sweet.

And I just kept smoking and chatting, til before I knew it, the dry herb vape turned off, having effectively heated every last bit of the bowl. I handed the vape to Ridcully and that’s when I felt it. Whatever freaking air purifier or heater or whatever is plugged into the garage started pulsating through my legs and up my arms in tiny microbursts. I. Was. High.

That high continued well after we emerged from the garage, too. Ridcully was also super high, having drawn the super potent stick with Pagosa Therapeutics’ strain. (You can read Ridcully’s review in this issue, too.) We walked upstairs and I tried to argue that the container I was holding was not the one I sampled. Finally, in a burst of expletives, they said: “READ THE CONTAINER! YOU SMOKED THAT ONE!” and I looked down in the most Cheech and Chong manner and said, “Oh yeah. I did.” Then I burst into stoner laughter. That is how high I was.

I found out pretty quickly that Kandy Kush is one of those strains that makes you feel super smart about mundane deductions one draws while stoned, which I LOVED. I spent the next hour thinking deep thoughts with Jack Handy about pretty much everything, and then subsequently busting out revelations that were apparently common knowledge to everyone else in the room.

We later flipped on “Murder Mountain,” the Netflix documentary on the clandestine marijuana grows in Humboldt County, California, and spent the rest of the time I was awake in awe of the scenic car-on-Northern-California-roads scenes. Every time the camera would pan out to a shot from a drone of a lone car climbing the picturesque mountainside, I felt like I was watching a fake toy car climb a beautiful model mountain. I was mesmerized.

I didn’t end up passing out hard like I normally do with straight indicas, which I really liked. I stayed alert and high the whole time.

So, if you’re looking for a strain that will a.) get you super stoned, b.) make you feel like you’re watching fake scenery, and c.) leave you the world’s smartest stoner, Kandy Kush might be your jam. Just don’t call it Kandy Krush in a dispensary or everyone will side eye you. Trust. I now know from experience.

DGO Pufnstuf

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