Strain review: Lemon Train

by DGO Pufnstuf

Please allow me to come clean about something, friends. Despite how much weed I smoke for these reviews, there are times when I can’t tell what the hell a strain is. Is it an indica-leaning hybrid? A 50/50? Why can I not feel my nose? Why do people think this smells like feet? You know … those types of things. That is not the case with Lemon Train, though, the strain we’re reviewing for Pagosa Therapeutics this week. I knew without a doubt, and without cheating, that this strain is ALL sativa.

I’m actually kind of proud of myself for this one, because I didn’t even check the little jar for hints prior to smoking it and I still called it correctly. I usually try to do a little research but I have a heinous cold so I went in blind, hoping that it would either knock me out or make me so delusional that I wouldn’t remember to cough incessantly for hours. Neither of those things happened, but to be honest, I didn’t mind, cause this is a very good sativa.

Anyway, please allow me to backtrack. I smoked this strain on Saturday afternoon in what felt like a break between hacking and sniffling, and I was pretty surprised that I could taste the lemon and grass flavors in the strain, as I haven’t been able to taste jack shit for a week. So, either it’s a very pronounced citrus and lemongrass taste or the gods gave me a temporary break in the snotty mess. I’m going with the former.

I used the dry herb vape (which I’d found after I lost it in one of my jacket pockets for weeks), so that may have had something to do with the pronounced taste, but I have a feeling this strain would taste like a citrus orchard either way. It also looks like a citrus orchard, with pretty light green buds layered with orange hairs. I did choke a little bit, but I honestly can’t tell you whether it’s because the smoke was harsh or my body is wrekt with a t from this cold. Take that as you will.

Anyway, I limited myself to a bowl, afraid that I would cave in on myself from an overdose of Dayquil and Lemon Train, and it was probably a smart move. This particular batch can range from 20.6 to 30.5 percent THC, which is, in scientific terms, a metric shit ton, and considering my heart was already doing some weird Wile E. Coyote biz, one bowl sounded like plenty. And, one bowl was indeed plenty. I was stoned, clear-headed, and wide awake, the opposite of what I’d been hoping for.

That ended up being a good thing, though. As I’ve said 400 times in this review, I’ve been foggy brained since this cold started and I haven’t been able to get anything done, so I was actually pretty stoked (after the fact) that Lemon Train kicked me into a slow productive gear. I was able to get up, get some stuff done, and not feel like death for a couple of hours. I did at one point have a pretty good head high – my notes say “Head high real fast but it could be the cold meds.” – but it wasn’t so pronounced or overwhelming that it got in the way of my temporary productivity. My notes also call myself a mouth-breather, which is true, but again, not because of Lemon Train. Because of whatever jerk coughed this virus on me.

I want to try this strain again once I can think straight to see just HOW productive it can make me. If it managed to pull me off my death bed, even temporarily, I have a feeling it’s baller af when you’re not a shoe-in for a Mucinex commercial. But even if it only kicks me into medium gear like it did on Saturday, I’ll take it. Lemon Train, sick or not, was a good sativa indeed.

DGO Pufnstuf

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