Strain review: Zookies from Prohibition Herb

by DGO Pufnstuf

Awww, sookie sookie, now.

That’s all I can think of when I hear the word Zookies, which is the name of the strain we’re reviewing this week from Prohibition Herb. What does this strain have to do with that throwback phrase denoting excitement? Nothing, really, except for the fact that I was super excited to review this strain and the name kinda sounds like sookie. /shrug

I am always excited to review new strains, to be fair, but I was especially excited to check this one out once I saw how pretty it was. This hybrid strain, which is a cross between Animal Cookies and Original Glue, has been on the floor at Prohibition Herb, but this was the first time I’d gotten to try it — or see it.

I picked some up on a random weeknight from the dispensary and immediately popped open the lid. Inside the container were the most thicc, beautiful nugs on the planet. Just glance at the photo and tell me those nugs aren’t fancy as hell. You can’t! The purple threads entwined with the deep greens of the buds? I stan.

But, while they were so freaking pretty, they also stunk to high hell of diesel fuel. Every weed rose has its thorn, I guess. To be fair, though, as I mentioned in my last reviews, I caught COVID back in July, and my sense of smell hasn’t really been the same since. Some stuff doesn’t smell at all to me — RIP to my favorite Bond #9 scents — and other things smell super pungent, so there is a chance that this strain smells nothing like diesel fuel. It could actually smell like cheese and I’d have no idea. The lingering effects of COVID are weird, man.

Anyway, whether or not this strain actually smells like diesel matters not, because it didn’t taste like diesel. It tasted like weed, and it got me very high. The effects were very evident with just one bowl.

In fact, it didn’t take long after lighting up said bowl to feel the familiar warmth of being stoned. It took maybe three hits before the buzz wrapped around my brain like a hug from a familiar friend, and then trickled down my body in light waves. I felt good, I guess — not heavy or couch-locked, but very stoned and very good. I guess the best way to put it is that my brain was relaxed. It was not clear, per se, but Zookies seemed to clear out some of the constant flow of random thoughts I deal with on a day to day basis. As someone with raging ADD, this strain seems like it could help quite a bit to stop some of the noise — provided you don’t need your hands to function right. But we’ll get to that.

While this was a mellow high, it was a very evident high nonetheless. I was very clearly stoned — my eyes were super red and felt like they were as dry as the Sahara, and there is no way I could have faked it otherwise. Had I been a teenager and not a grown-ass adult, my parents would have IMMEDIATELY known I was blazed after one bowl of this stuff. I snapped a selfie at one point (I’ll spare you the photographic evidence of that mess) and no amount of editing would have cleared the dopey look off my face or toned down the blazed-face eyes. ‘Tis what it is.

I also found myself laughing at stuff that shouldn’t be funny. For example, I kept thinking about the word “kooked,” and made sure I wrote down that the word kooked needs to be brought back into the mainstream. That would be kooked, man. And, while my limbs were still working, my hands weren’t cooperating as much as they should have been.

How do I know this, you ask? Well, the raging case of the munchies that came with smoking Zookies led me to raid the pantry for some junk food, and while I managed to dig up some M&Ms, I couldn’t quite get them into my mouth every time. They kept falling out of my grasp and then bouncing across the wood planks underneath me, kind of like I was setting them free to live their lives on my bedroom floor. When I surveyed the damage a few hours later (and by that I mean when I stepped on them after emerging from my weed cocoon), I realized that I must have gotten more on the floor than I did in my mouth.

It’s fine, though. I’ll gladly vacuum up shards of M&Ms if it means I get to smoke a bowl of Zookies and hang out pondering why we don’t use “kooked” in daily language these days. This strain is a winner, from the fat-ass buds to the mellow warmth of the effects. I would smoke it even if it smelled like festering trash — but it doesn’t. It just smells a little like diesel, which is a’ight by me. That’s a small price to pay for a high like the one Zookies offers.

DGO Pufnstuf

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