Back in the ’80s, when we only had one option when it came to weed — whatever you could get — and we would get creative with our paraphernalia. I had a fake ID in high school to get alcohol, but it also served to get me into the back room of certain stores in the big city. Before your imagination gets the best of you, these back rooms were basically a modern day head shop with fewer options.
We normally smoked weed out of bowls, in joints, or bowls, as it would conserve the precious brown grass a bit more. Sometimes these bowls were carved wood or metal screw apart pieces of crap that were bought at the aforementioned stores. However, we liked getting creative and making pipes from all sorts of — in hindsight, cancerous — materials found about our homes. Always topped off with the screen from the faucet in the kitchen sink!
Like many others before me, I have rolled joints with the most unconventional items: tampon wrappers, pages from the Bible (don’t worry, it was the old testament), brown paper bags, newspaper, and Cohibas. These were all moments where we managed to get weed, often traveling, but had no pipe. Now everything is at our fingertips. I have also moved on from Zig-Zags to Elements — always one and a quarter inch.
In addition, I have a glass pipe. This one I got at Gandolf’s on North Main. It replaced a precious one that I dropped and was seven years old. Well, not just a glass pipe. I also have a glass one-hitter that fits into any bong that is a nice size for a oney. And another — well, it’s a quartz fake cigarette and lives in my wooded dugout, and has a built in poker and a lighter rubber-banded to it.
But that’s not all folks! I also have a PAX2 that I bought when I had bronchitis so I could wean myself back onto weed. Since then, though, it hasn’t gotten much attention. It sits ignored alongside my two battery packs for various Sweet CO2 hash pens.
Although all these hi-tech weed injection devices are cool and have their time and place, I am a smoker at heart. I like combustion. However, since I am a bit worn from the world, I don’t use a bong anymore. Too much smoke at once. I gave away the 3-foot glass that used to live behind the sofa. And no more gravity bongs. How was that ever a thing?
Of course I have a metal grinder with steel mesh so I can gather my own keef (I also go to Durango Organics and buy a $15 jar of bubble hash to sprinkle on everything). But I do love my grinder for smooth burning weed. It is so old, I could probably scrape a few grams when I get snowed in this winter.
Got to keep it all clean with alcohol wipes, pipe cleaners, and pokers. Sometimes I use my rolling machine with a DJ Cat rolling tray. I have old containers and boxes and roach clips and pokers, etc. There are so many tools required for the ritual. Reminds me of my disgusting wooden bowl in high school that I used for years, and how there is just so much available everywhere that I don’t really need.
Oh, did I mention dab rigs and ways to smoke all the new types of hash? Right, I didn’t, because I have no idea what it all is, and maybe I am a bit apprehensive to learn a new trick. And do I really need it? But I will figure it out soon, and I’ll get back to you all to tell you how it goes.
Gray Stoner
