How do we all feel about Pixy Stix? Good? Great? Of course we feel great about Pixy Stix. We all (presumably) consume cannabis, and Pixy Stix are delicious when you’re stoned — even if those tubes of flavored sugar add to the cottonmouth problems with smoking.
OK, so since you all definitely love Pixy Stix, how do we feel about combining said tube o’ deliciousness with some quick-dissolving THC? What if you could pour that on your tongue and be stoned in a matter of minutes? Would you be stoked?
Well, get ready to be stoked, cause you can do that. Your buddies at Stillwater made it possible.
Wave your little stoned hand to say hello to Ripple Quicksticks, the adult version of a Pixy Stix. While Ripple products have been around for a while, these Quicksticks use a new consumption method. Rather than pouring the Ripple powder into your drink to dissolve, the Quicksticks are flavored Ripple that you pour directly on your tongue from a tiny, pre-packaged packet instead. The powder, which is made from a combination of sorbitol, MCT oil, cannabinoid extracts, sugar, natural flavors, and citric acid dissolves in your mouth and a short while later, you’re stoned. Or sort of stoned, depending on which Quicksticks option you pick. But we’ll get to that.
These Ripple Quicksticks aren’t just new to the Ripple lineup, though — they’re also new to the shelves of Prohibition Herb, which is where I snagged them from. (Side note: Is that place ever NOT busy these days? Y’all are some Prohibition fiends!) The budtender at Prohibition offered me the choice of three Quicksticks options: Pure, which is blueberry pom-flavored and contains 10mg THC per serving; Relief, which is mint chocolate-flavored and contains 20mg of CBD and 0.5mg of THC per serving; and Balanced, which is gingerberry-flavored and contains 5mg of CBD and 5mg of THC per serving. Each flavor comes with 10 servings, which are packaged into individual packets inside of the container.
I was pretty weirded out by the idea of gingerberry, and the low dose of THC in the mint chocolate flavor seemed like it would make for the most boring review ever, so I went with the Pure blueberry-flavored pom for your entertainment instead. I stand by my choice after tasting the blueberry pom, which was delicious.
I found that little factoid out about 10 minutes after leaving Prohibition. I was pretty eager to try these things out — anything that comes in a tiny packet full of sugar and THC is all right by me, so I ripped one open and poured it on my tongue as soon as I got home. The Pure sticks didn’t really taste like blueberry or pomegranate to me, but they were pleasant and slightly fruity, with just the slightest hint of weed as an aftertaste. Nothing offensive at all.
But even if the flavor had been rancid, the nice thing about Quicksticks is that they don’t choke you with an overwhelming amount of powder or flavor, so any option probably would have been fine. Plus, the packets are tiny, so it’s not tough to ingest the minuscule amount of Ripple that lands in your mouth. You just dump it on your tongue and wait for it to dissolve. Once it feels less like sand, you swallow, which, you know, is basically what your body is intended to do with the foods and liquids you put in your mouth.
It only took about half an hour for me to feel the full effects of the Quicksticks, which came on like a pleasant punch to the brain. My face started to feel fuzzy, my head started to get that floaty, surreal feeling that comes with edibles, and I became a total dumbass. What did I do, you ask? Oh, well, let me tell you. I started out by binge-watching a bunch of Unsolved Mysteries on Netflix, and at some point, I left myself a note that if ever want to set someone up for something illegal that I did, I should just put a burner phone connected to the crime in their name.
From there, I guess I decided that online shopping was the way to go, and since I was starving, I ordered and paid for not one — but TWO — weekly fruit subscription boxes. I did not leave myself a note about that, though. Nope. I just did it and then had to trace my steps to figure out the origins of the 60 pieces of fresh fruit on my counter, because the damn boxes were delivered the same day. Thanks, Ripple!
And, I must have passed out at some point, because I woke up and ate like half an apple cobbler while definitely still stoned. It was delicious, but it was also 3 a.m., which is probably not the best time to be shoveling cobbler in your mouth. Oh well!
I’ve tossed back a few more Ripple Quicksticks since my initial test drive, and I can tell you that I’m pretty impressed with these suckers. I’m not a huge fan of edibles, but I can get down with these. They’re easy, tasty, and remind me of my sugar-filled childhood, only with the added bonus of being stoned. As long as I don’t order any more subscription fruit boxes while high on Ripple, I plan to keep these in my rotation for the times I want to throw back some THC powder and get stoned. They’re just too good.
DGO Pufnstuf
