Ask a couple of potheads

From the best storage methods to where to smoke in public, here are the answers to all of your burning weed questions

Hello out there! This is Blaze and Puf, your two friendly neighborhood potheads. We’re here to be your safe place for answers on all things pot. While we don’t necessarily love getting texts at 2 a.m. asking if it’s possible to overdose on weed (ahem, mom, ahem), we do like being the idiots who answer your deepest, darkest questions on things like, “How much THC is too much THC?” or “What is this that I’m vaping?”

So, in order to get you guys to stop texting us photos of some blurry lump of bright yellow wax at ungodly hours, we’re offering up this Q&A instead. You can ask us ANYTHING YOU WANT TO in here. There are no rules. You can even email us at 4 a.m. on a Tuesday if you want to. The world is your freaking pothead oyster!

So come one, come all with your silly, embarrassing, or just plain weird questions about weed, weed-related issues, and whatever else you can dream up. We’ll do our best to answer them in the best way possible.

And here we go.

I’m old and creaky, and I recently injured myself while skiing. It’s not the worst injury, but the doctor prescribed some low-dose pain meds for the pain. Only problem is that I hate taking them. I’d rather take something natural or smoke weed to control the aching in my body, but can cannabis really be a substitute for pain meds?

Blaze: Well, well, well, if it isn’t the burning question we’ve all had at some point or another. I knew this would come up one day and I am here. for. it.

So, let’s get down to business. In my humble opinion, pain meds can be a real pain in the ass (pun intended), especially when you’re dealing with chronic pain. And let’s be honest, nobody wants to pop pills like they’re candy for the rest of their lives.

Now, enter cannabis. This plant is so magical. It can make you laugh, make you hungry, and apparently, it can make you pain-free too. While swapping weed for pain meds is not exactly a new idea, cannabis as a painkiller has become pretty darn popular with those who are looking for natural alternatives.

Some people swear by it, and I’m one of them. I use it for all of my aches and pains, and have even swapped it out for pharmaceuticals when I’ve had major injuries. It’s that good.

But you don’t have to take my word for it. You can also take science’s word! There is some evidence to suggest that cannabis can be an effective painkiller for certain types of pain, and it’s all thanks to the cannabinoids, which can interact with your body’s own pain pathways to help reduce inflammation and alleviate discomfort.

Of course, there is one downside to using cannabis for pain relief. Any strain that’s going to be effective at curbing pain is probably going to also make you pretty dang high, which can be a hindrance if you’re planning to ingest the ol’ weed and then be productive. But then again, pain meds can do the same dang thing, and with some much nastier side effects to boot. So, you know…it’s all about perspective, I guess.

Anyway, I’m not a doctor, obviously. I’m just a pothead on the internet, but if you’re not opposed to using cannabis, it’s worth exploring whether weed can knock out your pain. Just be sure to do your research on the right strains, talk to your doctor, and maybe keep a bag of chips on hand, just in case.

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Puf: Can cannabis be substituted for pain meds? Hmm, let me think. Yes, absolutely. And how do I know this? Well, I am an idiot and broke my ankle while riding around Denver like a jerk on an e-scooter. All it took was one crack in the sidewalk for my ankle to swell like I ate a mountain of salt in the summer. A few X-rays later and I was in pain and a boot.

After a few hours, I knew I had to do something about the pain or I would lowkey murder someone. Only problem? I hate painkillers. I love weed, though. So off to the dispensary I went, hobbling all the way. I picked up an indica strain with a very high percentage of THC and proceeded to get high as a … well, you know.

And what happened from there?
Well, nothing. I was high and pain-free. I ordered a bunch of donuts on DoorDash, watched hours of trash TV, and spammed anyone and everyone with pictures of my disgusting blue ankle.

It was great.
Like Blaze, I am not a doctor, though. I am also just a slightly less idiotic person on the internet. Cannabis may have some pain-relieving properties, but it’s important to note that it’s not a cure-all for everyone, so it’s important to do your own digging and assess your own pain levels first. But if you come away from that with a good feeling about cannabis as a painkiller, and you substitute that pill with some good old Mary Jane, you’ll be feeling no pain, and you’ll have a smile on your face — probably while full of donuts. Plus, you might even get a new hobby, like staring at a wall for three hours straight or laughing at the most random things ever. That’s what I call a win-win.

I like to play amateur scientists with my plant babies, and I’m just getting into the wild world of growing cannabis. And that’s got me thinking. If I create a new strain of cannabis, can I name it and market it the way I want to?

Puf: Oh boy. So, you’re looking to become the Willy Wonka of the cannabis world, huh? Well, you certainly aren’t the only one. New strains are rolling out all the time, thanks to innovative growers who want to elevate your high and the options on the shelves at the dispensary. I can think of at least three new strains I’ve seen recently.

But when it comes to whether YOU can create a new strain of cannabis and name it whatever you want, the short answer is yes, you can technically do that — and you can technically name your cannabis strain whatever your heart desires, but only if it’s for personal use. Yes, this answer is going to get real technical, real quick. Deal with it.

So you can name your weird plant hybrid whatever you feel like if you’re just doing it for funsies.

But can you sell and market it the way you want to? And that’s where things get a bit tricky.

You’re almost certainly well aware that the cannabis industry is highly regulated, and there are strict rules and regulations you need to follow if you want to sell your new Frankenstrain legally. You would need a license to grow and sell cannabis if it’s not for personal use, and you would also need to comply with labeling and packaging requirements.

DGO May 2023 Page 22 Image 0001But let’s say you’ve got all that sorted out, and you’re ready to launch your new strain into the world. How do you make it stand out? Well, you need a catchy name, but you have to be careful. You don’t want to get sued by another company for trademark infringement, which has happened a few times before. Just see the Gorilla Glue, i.e. GG#4 debacle, for reference. Turns out some companies get a little salty about their products being used to name weed, although it seems pretty dumb to me. Weed is great. Roll with it.

Anyway, yeah. Short answer is that creating a new strain of cannabis and naming it whatever you want is possible, but it’s not as simple as it seems. So, if you’re serious about starting your own cannabis business, make sure to do your research and follow the rules. You need to have all your proverbial weed ducks in order before you try that, or it could result in some serious trouble down the road.

Blaze: Oh, you’re thinking about creating a new strain of cannabis? Well, join the club. There are a lot of people doing the same exact thing. But most of them aren’t home growers, dude — which I’m assuming you are. And that’s where things get a little (or a lot) sticky.

Puf already covered most of this, but it’s fine. I’ll reiterate.

First things first, let’s talk about naming your new strain. You can’t just name it anything you want, unfortunately. Some names may already be trademarked or copyrighted, and you don’t want to get into any legal trouble. It happens, and unless you’re rolling in the dough, you probably can’t afford to get into that mess. Pick a name that WON’T cause that type of headache. And get all your licensing and whatever in order first, too.

Now, let’s talk about marketing. If you can pull this all off, you still need to make sure you follow all the laws and regulations when it comes to marketing cannabis. For example, you can’t make any health claims about your strain, and you can’t market it to children. It’s also important to be honest and transparent about your product, so people know what they’re getting.

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I know, I know. What a buzzkill, right? Too bad. Yes, creating a new strain of cannabis can be fun and exciting, but it’s important to be responsible and make sure you’re not breaking any laws.

I don’t live in Colorado, but I’ll be visiting soon, and I want to smoke some good old Colorado weed. The only problem is that my Airbnb is non-smoking and they mean non-smoking of ANYTHING. So, can I just smoke somewhere else instead? Like a local park or something?

Puf: OK, so please don’t light up on the streets of Colorado — and I do mean like, anywhere on the street in Colorado. It’s pretty illegal, and even if you find a chill spot that you may not get a ton of foot traffic near, smoking in public is not as easy as it sounds. If you get caught smoking cannabis on the street in Colorado, you might find yourself in a bit of a sticky situation.

What many newcomers don’t understand is that while cannabis is legal in Colorado, that doesn’t mean you can just light up wherever you want. You can only smoke cannabis on private property with the owner’s permission. So, if you’re smoking on the street, you’re breaking the law, my friend.

Now, let’s talk about what happens if you get caught. Well, you might get a ticket or a fine, or you might have to go to court. And let me tell you, court is not a fun place to be. You’ll have to explain to a judge why you were smoking on the street, and they’ve heard it all before. Being from out of town isn’t a pass to get off without penalties.

But, and this is a big but, if you’re lucky, you might just get a warning. Maybe the police officer will be feeling generous that day, or maybe they’ll just think you’re too much of a noob to be punished. Who knows?

The reality is that you don’t know who’s going to come upon your nonsense on any given day, and it’s best not to risk it. There are still narcs out there ready to tattle on your public imbibing, and honestly, even as a weed smoker, I can tell you that it’s a little obnoxious to walk through someone’s cloud of weed smoke at 8 a.m. on a Monday while walking my dog. There are etiquette rules, man!

Anyway, if you want to smoke cannabis in Colorado, my suggestion is that you do it on private property. Don’t light up on the street and then claim ignorance, or you might find yourself in a bit of a stoney pickle.

Blaze: Well, let me tell you, my friend, while you may technically be able to pull it off, smoking in public in Colorado may not be the best idea.

So, what happens if you get caught smoking cannabis on the street in Colorado?
Well, first of all, you might get some strange looks from the people around you while you act like you’re auditioning for Cheech and Chong’s next movie.

And if a cop catches you, you could be in some serious trouble. While cannabis is legal in Colorado, there are still some rules you need to follow. For example, you can’t smoke in public places, like on the street or in a park. You need to smoke in a private residence or a licensed cannabis club — and options for those are pretty limited in this state.

If you do get caught smoking on the street, you could be fined or face other penalties, which isn’t super stellar. But even if you aren’t caught, you’re definitely going to annoy some people with your antics. It’s just not the way.

I’m not trying to turn you away from the good old weed, mind you. I’m all for you toking up to your heart’s content. Just make sure you’re doing it in the right place. And, if you’re not sure where that is, ask a local or do some research.

I’m pretty new to growing flower and I think I overdid it on the home grow. Like, I have way too much cannabis flower to smoke in the next few weeks. So tell me:
What’s the best way to store your cannabis flower in a dry-ass Colorado town (you know, like the one we live in)?

Blaze: Ah, the age-old question of how to store your precious cannabis flower. If you’re living in a dry Colorado town, this is a very important question, so pay attention. Dry cannabis is not happy cannabis. Don’t disrespect the plant with that nonsense. Get the right container to keep your weed happy instead.

[email protected] Well, for starters, you’ll want to make sure you’re storing your flower in an airtight container. This will help prevent your flower from drying out.

But you don’t want to use just any old container, really. While it’s an extra investment, you will want to use something that’s specifically designed for storing cannabis, like a glass jar with a tight-fitting lid. This will also help to preserve the terpenes and flavors of your flower, and prevent any contamination from plastic or other materials.

And, if you really want to go the extra mile, you can add a humidity pack to your container. These packs will help regulate the humidity levels and keep your flower fresh and tasty.

HOWEVER, there’s one rule with that:
Don’t overdo it with the moisture. Over-humidifying your flower leads to too much moisture, which can then lead to mold and other nasty stuff, and nobody wants that.

So, short answer? The best way to store your cannabis flower if you live in a dry climate is in an airtight container, preferably made of glass, with a humidity pack if needed. And, of course, make sure you’re storing it in a cool, dark place, away from any heat or light sources. Happy storing, and happy toking, friend.

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DGO May 2023 Page 25 Image 0001

Puf: Aight, so. If you want your cannabis to last longer than that stale bag of Flaming Hot Cheetos laying open by your bed, you need to store it properly. And if you live in a dry area, the humidity levels can be as low as Snoop Dogg’s interest in a weak strain, so it’s important to take extra care.

The good news is that the storage method isn’t difficult in these climates. Typically, the best way to store your cannabis flower is in an airtight container, like a mason jar or a Tupperware container. Not only will it keep your stash fresh, but it will also prevent any strong odors from escaping and causing your house to smell like a skunk’s hind quarters. I like that smell, but I know that not many people do, so maybe try to limit it if you have frequent visitors.

And, like Blaze said, if you really want to keep your cannabis fresh, you can also add a humidity pack to your container. It’s like a mini-spa for your weed, keeping it at the perfect humidity level and preventing it from drying out.

And, if you’re feeling extra fancy, you can even store your cannabis in a cool, dark place, like a wine cellar or a safe. I know you have one or both on hand, obviously. We’re fancy stoners, right? Just make sure it’s not too cold or too hot or you’ll end up with an entirely new set of issues.
Ultimately, storing your cannabis flower properly is like taking care of a pet rock. It’s low maintenance, but it still needs some TLC.

So, invest in a good container, add a humidity pack, and store it in a cool, dark place. And, if all else fails, just smoke it all in one sitting. I kid, I kid! Sort of.

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