Edible review: Blue Kudu Indica Dark Chocolate

by Sir Blaze Ridcully

Have you ever tripped so hard on edibles that you start to think the waves pulsing through your body from head to toe are actually signals from a UFO? Oh, really? That’s just me?

Well, I’m just going to throw out there that it could indeed be you, too, should you pick up a bag of Blue Kudu Indica Dark Chocolate laced with an indica-dominant Afghani strain like I recently did.

If you don’t know much about Afghani, here’s the general idea: Afghani is an indica-heavy strain named after its Middle Eastern geographic origin. What’s so special about Afghani is that it’s known for its heavy resin production which is passed on genetically. This sleepy strain is often used to help with insomnia, relaxation, pain, and anxiety.

With the stress of, well — *gestures to everything* — I could truly not think of anything better than couch chillin’ with an indica strain seeping into my brain cells. Sleep. Relaxation. Sign me up!

This chocolate was, hands down, some of the best chocolate I’ve ever eaten, edibles or not. The smooth, dark chocolate was so rich and deep. There was no hint of weed in these chocolates – just the lavish tones of dark, dark chocolate. It was really tough not to eat the entire bag in one sitting, which ended up being wise as a pack comes with 20 pieces, 5 mg each.

The indica takeover of my body, thankfully, wasn’t a total bat-to-the-head experience. It was a slow, oncoming body high which eventually came to include my head as well. It was like sinking into a warm, fluffy cloud of comfort and relaxation.

Eventually, my brain was enveloped in a weed fog. A tired haze that wrapped around my entire eyeballs. Yep. That’s what my notes say! My eyeballs. It wasn’t long before I became completely couch-locked, which was really unfortunate because the munchies are your frenemy with this strain. I became completely fixated on making a bowl of instant mac and cheese, and nothing could distract me from this food goal … except for maybe the couch-lock.

I attempted to take a Snapchat selfie to capture the spirit of the evening and began laughing hysterically when I realized I had complete and total blaze face: red, scrunched up eyes that could barely stay open and a lazy grin that was so half-assed it barely registered as a smile. There would be no selfies that night, I didn’t need to freely offer up future blackmail opportunities.

I simply sunk deeper into my couch until I realized sonic waves were washing over me from head to toe. Stoned me immediately jumped to, “Holy mother of Zuul! That must be a UFO transmitting a signal to my brain. I’m about to be hypnotized and kidnapped by space aliens!!!!!” Sober me knows it was the weed.

After I talked myself off the alien spaceship ledge, it wasn’t long before Afghani performed the final phase of its indica ritual: sleep.

And once I was out, I was out. No tossing and turning or waking up sporadically with intrusive thoughts. Just complete and total cold turkey sleep without warning, which frankly I prefer. The next morning, I woke up feeling more refreshed than I had in a long time.

If you’re struggling with sleep, Blue Kudu Indica Dark Chocolate might not solve all your problems but it could help you get that much yearned for rest. After all, why wait to sleep when you’re dead when you could eat some Afghani chocolates and just sleep now?

Sir Blaze Ridcully


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