Edible review: CannaPunch watermelon nectar

by Sir Blaze Ridcully

You know how there’s really not a lot to do because of that virus which will not be named? A clue: it rhymes with Blow-vid and it freaking blows. While our entertainment options are pretty limited, it is times such as these when it’s prudent to be thankful that you (hopefully) live in a state where the weed flows freely. If not, I have no words of comfort for you. RIP to your life.

In any case, I do live in a legal state, so I decided to get me a solid outdoor summer edible that would serve as the final puzzle piece to my plans to hang out in the grassy expanse of the park near my home one late afternoon.

Deciding to switch it up from my typical choice, which is THC-infused food, I chose to get a cannabis-infused drink this time — specifically CannaPunch watermelon nectar.

I’d been meaning to pick a few of these up at some point because I’ve tried plenty of other weedy beverages that hit the spot, but I hadn’t yet given CannaPunch the ol’ college try. I figured that CannaPunch’s watermelon weed juice could be pretty delicious. After all, I do love their Dutch Girl Stroopwafels.

I went with the watermelon nectar flavor because, let’s be honest, watermelon equates to summer, and if getting stoned in the park was going to be the highlight of summer, well then, by Zuul, it was going to happen with some watermelon-flavored weed.

CannaPunch drinks come with 100 mg of THC in the bottle. To drink it, all you have to do is pour a bit into the lid — which is equal to 2.5 mg of THC — and then take that sucker like a shot. Because you have a little more precision over your intake, CannaPunch drinks offer a solid way to experiment with microdosing — if that’s what you choose to do.

That is not what I chose. I ended up taking 10 mg (so four shots) my first go around. And, to be honest, it reminded me a bit of the medicine syrup I’d have to drink as a kid when I was sick, but not the gross kind that you always ended up gagging down — the good kind that you secretly always hoped your parents would shell out. This was sweet, smooth, and tangy. It was a bit like sipping on an adult juice bottle.

Anyway, once I’d dosed my watermelon weed drink, I packed up a book, my headphones, and some snacks, and then set off for the park down the street from my home, where I planned to effectively waste the rest of the day until the sun went down. Or waste the day until I got too hot. Whichever came first.

Thankfully, it didn’t take long for the THC to dig its fingers into my brain, because the sun’s game was strong and I was not lovin’ the heat. Luckily, that CannaPunch I’d chugged before I left took the edge off. Instead of glomping to the park out of a complete sense of boredom, I was floating toward a grassy field of possibilities. Or whatever.

CannaPunch offered a sense of a full-body mellow with a side helping of euphoria. There was a gentle buzzing I felt throughout my body, and it was enough to convince me to stay outside until at least the effects wore off.

I actually ended up staying out long enough to watch the sunset, which was not expected given the heat. I swear no shrooms were ingested, but I felt one with nature and that nature was one with me. A little too one, perhaps, as I ended up smacking away quite a few mosquitoes while I was out there.

The next morning I caught a glance at myself in the mirror and found that I was covered in mosquito bites. When I say covered, I mean it looked like a rash had broken out all over my body. I had unknowingly been that evening’s appetizer, entree, and dessert for I can only presume was an army of mosquitoes. I didn’t notice the day before, though, as I was too high to care.

Other than getting feasted on by a battalion of bugs, the CannaPunch watermelon nectar experience was exactly what I was looking for in a summer edible: delicious, smooth, and offers the option to dose light enough to still function and relax. That’s a win in my book, even if it means getting eaten alive.

Sir Blaze Ridcully


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