Get down with the Rozay thiccness

by DGO Pufnstuf

Editor’s note: Our resident potheads are on break, so we’re republishing this review from 2021. Don’t fret, though. It’s an oldie but still a goodie. Enjoy!

“I’ve been so many places, seen so many faces, but nothing compares to these blue and purple buds…”

I’ve been humming that modified version of the D12 song “Purple Pills” for the last few days, and if you want
to know why, well, it all comes down to a little strain called Rozay. This strain, which we’re reviewing for The
Green House Durango this week, is one of the most awesomely purple-colored beauties I have ever seen.
Like, so very freaking purple.

In fact, that’s the first thing I noticed when I popped the lid off the container of Rozay after I picked it up.
Unlike many of the other strains we review, this one appeared to be tucked deep in the container because the dark purple buds blended in with the black plastic of the container. But when I reached my hand in, it was clear that it wasn’t. It just looked that way because of how absolutely purple these nugs are.

So, that was the first win for this strain, which is a hybrid strain from Rare Dankness. I believe it’s an indica-leaning hybrid (at least the effects would lead me to believe that) with genetics that stem from Purple
Bomb and Sherbert, but please don’t quote me on that.

Anyway, the second win was the absolutely overpowering stench of the strain, which unfortunately did not smell like grapes, as the color led me to believe. The good news is that while it didn’t smell like grapes, the strain smells like a mixture of grass, pepper, and some sort of other spice, so I guess that’s all right with me.
I like any stinky strain at this point. The more overwhelming, the better. I even like the diesel-scented ones.

And, there was one more win right off the bat, and that was the thicc-bodied nugs. Holy badonkadonk,
Batman. If this strain had a human body, it would have a bootie the size of a small planet. These purple bois
are thick!

So, yeah. Three wins right off the bat? I’d call that a good sign.

And, it was. The effects of this strain were just as awesome as the looks.

I found this out very quickly after loading a bowl, which I was hesitant to do because I didn’t want to destroy the beauty of any of the nugs in the container. They were just so pretty. But alas, it is my job to be a nug destroyer, so I did. I pulled the ugliest one out, ground it up to a fine purple plant matter, and then loaded it in the bowl. RIP your time on planet Earth, little Rozay friend. The bowl light right up quickly and evenly, and the first inhale was just as smooth as those looks. It didn’t taste great, mind you — this strain definitely tastes like it smells — but the effect was an immediate and swift kick to the brain in the very best way.

I’m not kidding you. I was probably at least slightly stoned from the moment I took the first hit. This is a fast one, you guys. A little fast one.

Luckily, the taste wasn’t as shocking after the first or second hit. That or I just got so stoned that I couldn’t even taste anymore — I don’t know. But either way, I was grateful for the reprieve.

I was also great for the rocking head high that came with it. Dear god. I thought that first hit was something, but the waves of energy to the brain just kept on coming. It was like my whole head was rolling in the ocean. Strange but pleasant.

And, oddly enough, my brain was pretty clear, despite the feeling that a cat was kneading it with its paws. I could think functionally, I could react with the quickness, and I could talk. Well, at first, anyway.

That changed once the bowl was cashed and the weed had time to work its magic on the rest of my soul.
The brain-kneading continued, but it started to spread throughout my appendages, and at one point it became so obvious that I was looking around the empty room like, “Uhh, do you guys feel that?” Obviously, they did not, as no one else was there.

As the minutes wore on, more of the effects started to kick in. I felt so freaking happy — like happier than happy; euphoric, maybe — and I was just absolutely and totally content to do whatever was on my mind, which switched from one second to the next. At one point I was reading a long murder case arrest affidavit and then shifted to scrolling Reddit for hilarious memes, and then hopped back to the court document once again. My brain was doing all the things.

Looking back, that seems like an odd effect, given the major body high I was working with at the time, but
Rozay is just a mysterious strain, I guess. It does its own thing.

What I probably couldn’t have done, however, was work out or like, hike or something. Not that I would have tried

— that isn’t really my jam to begin with

— but my body absolutely would not have cooperated. While my brain was clear, my limbs did not want to move. They just wanted to sit there and let the weird weedy ocean waves roll over them instead.
In other words, I was in a complete state of body relaxation, but my head was clear as a bell.

And, surprisingly, I did not pass out at any point, despite the effects lasting for what felt like hours. When they finally wore off I got up, ate a million pounds of food, and went back to whatever I’d been doing prior to getting stoned. A true puzzle, this strain. Good thing I like puzzles. And weed. Combine them and you have a recipe for true magic. And that’s exactly what Rozay is, from the fat purple nugs to the clear-headed body
high it offers.

So, if you’re looking for a strain that will knock you on your ass but still allow your brain to function like a trueass adult, this is for you. Rozay all day, every day.


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