Get in the holidaze spirit with these cheesy stoner gifts

by DGO Staff

Cause everyone needs a little more green (and red) during these trying times, right?

Giving and receiving cannabis-related gifts has become as normal as getting those unwanted socks from your mom or that random-ass gift card your dad picked up at Walgreens on Christmas eve. And, the options for packaging your cannabis gifts have come a long way, too. There’s no longer a need to put a bag of weed
in an old cracker box and wrap it with some leftover wrapping paper. In other words, if you’re giving the gift of weed (or weed-related items) this year, you can do it up right.

Take, for example, what Denver-based KushKards is doing. This company has brought cannabis gifting into modern times with their cute and clever greeting cards, and the founder and CEO have been actively working to remove the stigma often associated with recreational use.

KushKards are greeting cards with a twist, and that twist is that they’re the perfect option for your stoner pals. Their holiday line comes with cheeky messages like “Joint to the World” and “Light up the Holidays,” and each one features a slot to attach a pre-rolled joint or a one-hitter. The cards are legal to mail across the globe, too, as long as you don’t attach any cannabis inside the card. But if you aren’t mailing them, they would be a great option to stick a joint in to gift to your local friends at Friendsgiving or Christmas.

And, what’s better is that KushKards are available at over 4,000 locations within the US and Canada. They can also be purchased on their website KushKards. This should be your first stop when you need to send a “Dank You” card to your friends for helping you move or for just being an all-around great person.

But while we love the idea of cheesy weed-related holiday cards, we also wondered what else was out there that was stoner holiday related. Here’s what we dug up.

Holy Smokes ornaments

One of my favorite holidaze gifts we have found is a Jesus Christmas tree ornament from CrankCakesShop on Etsy. It features a bust of Jesus smoking a joint, with a scroll across the bottom that says “Holy Smokes.”

This is the perfect thing to gift yourself and stick on the tree to piss off that super-conservative aunt who pushes her bogus form of religion on you every time you see her. It would also make a great secret Santa gift for that same aunt’s Christmas tree.

Or, maybe just buy it and throw it on her tree, but don’t tell anyone what you’ve done. Wait til after dinner on Christmas day for someone to spot it and then watch the fireworks go off.

You can find this amazing ornament online at Holy Smokes Glass Ornaments.

Christmas stoner box

We all have those friends who are missing something when you show up to their place to get stoned. They don’t have papers, or their lighter doesn’t work, so you have to light the joint on the stove and run outside, so you don’t stink up the apartment.

Well, BoxItForward on Etsy has a small Christmas box that covers all their stoner needs. The box features a plastic grinder, an ashtray, lighters, papers, blunt tubes, and a smell-proof bag to keep curious noses at bay.

The box itself is pretty awesome
too. It says, “Special Delivery from the North Pole Express Direct from Santa’s Workshop.” This is a basic first aid kit for stoners, and everyone should have one in their cabinet.

Snarky holiday stoner shirts

We also found some excellent apparel that you can wear to your family’s Christmas get-together without drawing too much attention. Your grandma will probably even tell you that she thinks your shirt is cute because it looks like a super festive holiday shirt.

Take, for example, the shirt we found, which says, “Weed Wish You a Merry Christmas.” It is framed by hidden pot leaves amongst the holly and two burning joints.

Weed Wish You a Merry Christmas Shirt

There’s also a sweatshirt your mom
will love, but she probably won’t understand its real meaning. This festive-look-ing sweatshirt features gingerbread men and says, “Let’s Get Baked.”

Wear it and chances are your mom and grandma will think you recently got into baking, but we all know what kind of baking you’re really into: the kind that you did before you drove over to meet your family.

Let’s Get Baked Sweatshirt

So what’s the moral of the story here? It’s fun to find gifts for your friends or yourself to cause a little trouble at dinner. Hell, we’d probably just get the “Let’s Get Baked” sweatshirts for our mom and grandma. We know they’d wear it and probably be oblivious to the messaging.


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