Strain review: Pipe Dream from The Green House Durango

by DGO Pufnstuf

Have you ever gotten so high that you lose touch with reality? Like, you conjure up an entire fake conversation in your mind and then inexplicably answer your own nonsensical questions? Yeah, me too — and it was all thanks to Pipe Dream, a strain from The Green House in Durango.

It’s odd, though, that this strain was the one to knock me into another galaxy, considering that Pipe Dream is technically a sativa-leaning hybrid. Sativas generally make me awake and energetic, not tripped out and deep into my own head. It’s indicas that generally make me venture to the cobwebbed parts of my brain, but not this time. This time it was Pipe Dream.

Here’s what happened. So I picked up a gram of Pipe Dream from The Green House and popped open the lid as soon as I got home. The nugs from this strain were compact, bright green, and layered with orange hairs — pretty unassuming on face value, at least. But while those nugs may look unassuming, holy crap do they pack a punch — both in stench and in potency. This particular batch clocked in at about 24% THC and it reeked — and I do mean reeked — like a forest full of diesel fuel. These nugs may be small but they ain’t playin’, you guys.

Anyway, I loaded a bowl, lit it up, and then immediately choked on smoke. Turns out that this strain isn’t just fragrant, it’s also very aggressive. I coughed my way through the entire bowl.

And, by the time I was through said bowl, I was stoned as a high schooler who’d smoked their way through a dime bag of ditch weed. My head was fuzzy and my eyelids were so low I looked like the search results for “stoner meme.”

I was also extremely hungry, but I couldn’t stumble out to the kitchen because I was on a journey inside my own head. Like, I’d straight up followed the green brick road to a place I didn’t know existed.

Let me try to explain. It’s really fuzzy, but here’s what I remember: I smoked that bowl and my head felt like it was full of cotton so I laid down, resigned to my own stoned fate. As I laid there, I remember thinking of so many things, all of which started to collide into a trip where I knew everything and nothing all at once. I guess I was daydreaming, but whatever my brain was conjuring up was so surreal and trippy that I felt like I was living it.

Oddly enough, I was also aware that I was laying on my bed, in Durango, and not on a journey in my mind. The unearthly reality I was in continued for a while until I suddenly snapped myself out of it by muttering, out loud, the words “lizard wizard” in response to whatever was in my head.

I don’t know what the hell I was daydreaming about that brought those two words to mind, but whatever it was must have been hella fascinating. And, as you might imagine, I was pretty embarrassed once I realized I’d been talking to myself — especially considering the nonsense that is lizard wizard.

Pipe Dream’s effects were weird as hell but also fun, which are the marks of a badass strain. By the way, this strain (I later found out) makes most people energetic and alert, but I call shenanigans on that.

Pipe Dream was still a hell of a ride — one I’m ready to take again. The only downside was that I ate a thousand donuts once I was lucid enough to find the kitchen. Other than that, I was happy and daydreaming of lizard wizards on Mr. Toad’s wild Pipe Dream ride.

DGO Pufnstuf


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