Ask a couple of potheads; they’ll answer it all

by DGO Staff

From weed delivery laws to whether it’s safe to eat melted edibles, here are this month’s burning questions for our resident potheads

Hi there! It’s time for another Q&A with our good buddies Blaze and
Puf. These two potheads are here to answer all of your burning questions about cannabis, legalization, and other weed-related inquiries. That’s basically all they’re good for — that and smoking weed — so you might as well take advantage of their useless knowledge as you see fit.

Have questions to ask these two fools? Send them to [email protected] and we’ll do our best to answer them. And, feel free to send them allll over — your wild, wacky, and just plain weird questions about weed. Nothing shocks us at this point. And we do mean nothing.

How do the new weed delivery laws in Colorado work?

Blaze: While the state legislature approved HB1234 way back in 2019
(dang, wasn’t that a lifetime ago), it hasn’t been until 2021 that Marijuana Enforcement Division started handing out licenses to dispensaries to start delivering weed.

So far, only dispensaries in the Front Range (places like Denver, Aurora,
and Boulder) have received licenses, unfortunately for the rest of Colorado. But, fingers crossed those licenses will soon make their way down to places like Pagosa Springs and Durango.

If you do happen to be lucky enough to live in those areas, you’ll need to order from a residence (Sorry, tourists, hotels don’t count!) and you’ll most likely have to pay a delivery fee to boot.

Puf: Well, funny you ask. I actually have no earthly idea how weed delivery works, mostly because I live in Durango, where there are no legal weed delivery services to utilize. Not yet, anyway.

That said, I am good with my research skillz some days, so here’s what I found out just for you.

For starters, as Blaze noted above, delivery is currently only available on the Front Range, so if you’re in our neck o’ the woods, you can’t get it. But if you’re in Denver or Boulder, you’re in luck.

There are some things you need to know, though.

— If you’re ordering weed, you need to have it delivered to your house. Deliveries are required to take place at a private residential address, so if you’re at a restaurant or a hotel, it’s pretty much a no go.

DGO 2022.07 July Page 22 Image 0001
— Also, the person who does the ordering has to be the person who the order is delivered to. The address on your license doesn’t have to match the address where your delivery is made to, but it does have to be a residence. So, as long as you’re at least 21 with a valid ID, you can order weed delivery and have it dropped off at a friend or relative’s house. Just make sure you answer the door without anyone else in tow, or you might all be required to show your IDs.

— As is the status quo for buying weed in Colorado, you’ll probably need some cash on hand when you order. Some delivery services will take cards, but you need to tip your driver — and you may not have the option of paying with a card when your weed arrives. So before you order, maybe make sure you’ve got some dollar, dollar bills y’all in your pocket.

— Another thing to note is that cash refunds aren’t issued for legal marijuana purchases. Why does that matter? Well, because it’s probably pretty likely that you will get the wrong order delivered at least once. Just think about how often it happens with Uber Eats and tell me that’s not going to be the case.

Our friendly weed drivers are almost certainly more careful than Uber Eats, mind you, but if you’re delivered the wrong order, you might have to cancel it when your driver gets there. Or, you may have to wait a while to exchange it for the right product. So, that could be tricky.

— You could be in for some pretty steep fees, which really shouldn’t surprise you (or anyone) at this point. Delivery fees are a normal part of getting, well, things delivered to you — and that includes weed. How else are the drivers, dispensaries, and delivery services going to make any money if they don’t tack a little bit extra on the top?

That said, weed is already taxed at more than 20%, so that extra $10 to
$15 delivery charge (or whatever it may be) is a bit pricey when you calculate it in. And, as you may have guessed, the delivery charges will vary depending on the service, so don’t be shocked at the lack of continuity in the pricing.

Other than that, I have no idea. I do know my very sweet but very noob parents had weed delivered to a restaurant in California because my dad’s knee was killing him while they were on vacation and they LOVED it, so I hope Colorado starts to allow more freedom with deliveries. But other than that, I got nothin’. My dog gets so anxious when we travel. Would CBD help?

Puf: Heeeeey! Join the anxious
dog club! My huge, 120 pound Great Dane-Boxer mix is also a neurotic nut-case! He likes to lick his skin obsessively — and it can quickly evolve into chewing if we aren’t on top of it.

And how do we stay on top of it? Freaking CBD, that’s how.

The beautiful thing about giving your pet CBD is that most dispensaries carry flavored CBD that’s created specifically for pets. We started giving our dogs that bacon-flavored cannabinoid goodness when our old dog was still alive and kickin’ (but in serious pain because of his joints).

He’s gone now, but his buddy who was left behind is still a CBD monster, and it works! A dose in his food every day and his stress levels are much lower — kinda how a dose of weed each day can help my stress levels, too. We’re clearly twins.

There is one caveat, though. You should be aware that THC can be extremely dangerous for dogs, so don’t give your best boy or girl anything with THC in it. Make sure you splurge and get the stuff that’s just for pets instead. You don’t want to risk the side effects of giv-ing your pet the stuff made for humans — no matter how safe and awesome it may be for us.

Also, make sure you’re aware of the possible side effects, which include:

Dry mouth: Research has shown that CBD can decrease the production of saliva, and for dogs, this could mean they’re way more thirsty than normal. In other words, make sure that water bowl is filled, fool!

Lowered blood pressure: High doses of CBD have been known to cause a temporary drop in blood pressure, so your dog might feel a little lightheaded, though they won’t be able to communicate that fact unless you’ve taught them how to speak real human language.

Drowsiness: The calming effect of CBD can be great for doggy anxiety, but it can also cause slight drowsiness, especially when using higher doses. So maybe don’t dose Fido with CBD prior to some park outing or hike or whatever you outdoorsy people do with yourselves.

Other than that, I’m all for it. My dog loves it — and I love not hearing him lick himself silly while I’m trying to work. It’s a win-win.

Blaze: If your pet has some real bad anxiety around traveling (or waiting for you to get back from your travels), CBD may be a good option to help calm their fears. Like for humans, CBD for pets comes in many forms — treats, topicals, and oils that you can put in food.

However, since there’s not a lot of studies out there at the moment on the long-term effects of CBD on animals, we suggest talking to your vet before handing over any old treats with CBD in them. In fact, your vet might even have a few suggestions of what to give your beloved pet.

If you decide to do your own research on the matter, be sure to check for studies that have been done as well as thoroughly read reviews and ingredient lists of whatever CBD product you’re planning to get.

Does Colorado’s new higher possession limit mean I can buy more weed at the dispen-sary?

Blaze: For some context, after HB21-1090 was passed by Colorado legislature earlier this year, recreational marijuana users can now be in posses-sion of up to two ounces of marijuana (it was just one prior to the change).

Unfortunately, while that’s good news for stoners, those new rules do not apply to your local dispensary.

According to the Colorado Marijuana Enforcement Division, dispensaries can still only sell you up to one ounce of marijuana at a time per day.

While that is a bit of a drag, unfortu-nately, on the bright side, this new law is also helping those with past marijuana convictions to clear their records.

Puf: I WISH.

So, Blaze is right (for once; not sure how that happened). While you can legally now possess more weed on your person in our fine state, you can’t just waltz into the dispensary and grab two ounces at once. It ain’t gonna happen.

That’s because the key word here is “possess.” Prior to this change, if you were caught with more than one ounce on you by a cop or whatever, you could be in a bit of legal hot water because it surpassed the legal limit. Now you can be “caught” with up to two ounces of weed in your pocket, your purse, or wherever you silly adults store it without having to worry about the legal ramifications of having a ton of weed on you.

But the rules for the dispensaries are still the same: you can only buy up to an ounce worth of weed before you’re cut off for the day. That’s how it is, and that’s how it be sometimes. Sorry for your loss.

On the upside, you can literally just return the following day and buy more. It’s not that big of a deal, yo.
I’m having trouble sleeping at night but don’t like to smoke. Will edibles help instead?

Puf: Well, while I can’t say definitively that edibles will make you sleep like a gosh-darn baby, I can tell you that they knock me the hell out — but not before making me a goofball of nonsensical ideas!

I’ve always been a little sensitive to the effects of edibles, so if I take an indi-ca edible or a hybrid, it will almost cer-tainly put me to sleep for long stretches of time. Like, we’re talking eight straight ass hours of time — which is unheard of for me. My brain is basically a spinning hamster wheel that goes all day, every day. But something in the edibles (hint: the THC) shuts it off.

It’s awesome and I love it, but I also just opt to smoke an indica strain or concentrate before bed instead. I like to know that I’ll wake up with a clear head whenever I need to (there could be rob-bers or something to contend with), and I can’t seem to do that with edibles. So I guess I’m not really the person to ask.

That said, I do have a ton of friends and family members who rely on edibles for sleep. Freaking insomniacs every-where! And, funny enough, they all love a certain type of edible for it (hint, the Wyld sleep line — I can’t remember what it’s called but your friendly neigh-borhood budtender will know) to get the job done.

There are tons of edible options out there, too — and a lot have been formulated for sleepytime, so the short answer is yes, I do think edibles will help. Just make sure you get some advice and choose the right ones. Don’t just blindly grab a sativa or something — or you could end up in the opposite boat instead.

Blaze: Everybody’s a little different, but like for many people, edibles may just be the ticket you need to a good night’s sleep.

Obviously, if you’re having serious sleep issues, like insomnia, you’ll want to consult your doctor, but in other instances, edibles might help.

Both CBD and THC have properties that could help you sleep, but if you want to avoid getting stoned before you go to bed, go with cannabis products that have high CBD content and low THC. Some companies, like 1906, make edibles specifically to help users sleep.  If you’re really struggling to find some-thing that works for you, however, be sure to ask your friendly neighborhood budtender for some suggestions.

DGO 2022.07 July Page 24 Image 0005I’m new to the world of edibles and while I enjoy them, I also find them frustrating be-cause dosage feels tricky. For example, a friend gave me a brownie (with weed, obvious-ly) and I ate a chunk of it. An hour or so later, I still felt noth-ing. So, I ate another chunk. Cut to me being way too high for the rest of the night. How do I manage edibles without being too high?

Blaze: If you’re struggling to manage your trip to space via pot brownie, you may want to reconsider your other options. I, too, had this issue when I first became interested in edibles. A friend gave me a pot brownie at a concert I was at and my baby stoner self had no idea what kind of trip I was in for. I was convinced that nothing was happening and ended up downing most of the brownie. It was not my shiniest moment and my friend ended up having to play babysitter for the night.

Instead, I highly recommend starting off with edibles that are specifically dosed piece by piece. There are even products out there that will allow you to experiment with microdosing to see how much you can handle. If you’re new to edibles, I recommend starting off with 5mg, then work your way up to 10mg over time, and so on.

Puf: OK, I’m maybe not the person to ask about this because I too cannot figure out the right dosage for edibles. (Look how much we have in common!) I feel like I’m either not high at all after taking one or SO HIGH that I cannot see. Like, I literally cannot see. My eyes get drier than Spongebob did when he tried to survive Sandy Cheeks’ reverse fish tank o’ horrors.

I’ve also tried dosing half, and then whole, and then like twice or three times as much. Apparently I have no chill, or no middle ground, or no…something. I don’t even know.

All I know is that it’s tricky. As Blaze, who regularly imbibes on edibles, said, you should probably start off with edibles that you can dose easily. There are low dose options that you can stack and then stack some more to get high. These types of edibles are a lot easier if you want to go low dose to start, because you can take a full edible with-out fear of being high off your ass, and you don’t have to worry about cutting the edible in the right way to halve the dose, either.

And, I’m going to tell you something else, too. Maybe edibles just aren’t for you. I don’t love them. I don’t take them very often. I prefer my vape or my flow-er or ANYTHING other than edibles, to be honest. Not that I won’t take them, mind you — I have been that desperate in recent weeks (while moving and my weed went MIA), but I just don’t prefer them.

That’s OK, in my opinion. There are so many other mechanisms with which you can imbibe. If you continuously have the same issues, it could be worth trying out some other way of dosing your THC. Not every product is going to work for everyone, and edibles may just not be your thang. That’s your call, ob-viously, but that’s about all the insight I have to add. For me, edibles are mostly no bueno.

I was reminiscing about my younger days and how I used to shove a towel under the door of the room I was smok-ing a joint in to prevent anyone from smelling my activities. Does that method even work?

Puf: Let me say this: HA HAHAHA-HAHAHAHAHHA HA.

I’m sorry for laughing, but I am very traumatized from trying this meth-
od back in high school, as the towel method did not work then, and it got my ass busted for smoking in my bedroom closet. I was grounded for what felt like a dang eternity, and I’m still pretty salty about it, to be honest. That was basically pre-internet days (or dawn of the early internet, rather), back when rumors for how to cover up your weed habits were spread via AOL instant messenger rather than actual, reputable pot-smoking resources.

Being the total dumbass that I am, I trusted my good friend Pat M.’s advice to just stick a towel under the door. And that’s when things went awry. By the way, nothing has changed. Thetowel method does not work now either. If you’re trying to hide your smok-ing habits from a landlord or a significant other, that is very much not going to cut it. Don’t even bother. You’re just going to end up grounded, or evicted, or at least sleeping on the couch, and all of those things suck.

But, you don’t have to go on the wagon to rid your home (or office or whatever) of the stench of the good-good. There’s no need to.

If you’re looking for a way to mitigate the smell of smoking your trees, you don’t need to use a dang towel these days. There are SO MANY good methods to use! There are smoking buddies that you can blow through, epic sprays you can, well, spray to remove the stench, and other handy dandy things that keep a stoner’s busi-ness where it should be.

A quick Google search can show you alllllll that the world of cannabis gear has to offer for this use, and chances are
it won’t cost you very much to obtain the right tool. These things are affordable, easy to come by, and they work a hell of a lot better than that towel.

Seriously. Don’t bother with the tow-el. It ain’t gonna work. And it ain’t worth the hassle.

Blaze: I personally have never tried this as I tend to stick to vape pens and edibles most of the time. I don’t like smoke sticking to my furniture or clothes, so when I do partake in the flower, I usually smoke either outside or right next to a window. If you (or anybody else) are really worried about smell, I recommend forgoing the flower and stick to edibles and vapes. But I also get that a lot of people prefer flower to those options as well. We all have our preferences!

I’m not entirely sure of the science of sticking a towel under the door. To be honest, it doesn’t sound flawless, but I’m sure if you crack a window or use a filter you can hide it pretty well.

DGO 2022.07 July Page 25 Image 0001I’ve made a terrible mistake. I accidentally left some edibles in my car and they’re all melted together now. I don’t want to waste expensive edibles, but is it safe to eat?

Blaze: RIP to your edibles. But only in looks! As long as your edibles remained in their packaging and didn’t become one with the floor or seats, they’re prob-ably still safe to eat.

Another factor to consider is how long were said edibles sitting in your car. If it’s been there for a hot minute (thank you, thank you) you probably want to just cut your losses and toss it. THC degrades over time, especially if it’s ex-posed to air, light, and heat. Typically we use it all up before then, but in instances where you left your once tasty treats out in the sun for a long period of time, it’s most likely not going to give you the desired effect anyway.

Puf: MY DAD DID THIS. I FINALLY HAVE SOMETHING USEFUL TO CON-TRIBUTE.

So, probably don’t eat those. They’re not unsafe, per se (caveat: I am not a food handler so I can’t say that for sure), but you will run the risk of getting very, very high.

Here’s my anecdotal evidence to back up that Puf fact. So, my father lives in a prohibition state, which sucks. When he comes to visit, he loads up on weed and edibles to take back with him to said prohibition state that shall not be named.

The only problem? He’s paranoid about carrying a felony or two worth of cannabis product back to prohibition hell. Can’t blame him.

The first time he slanged his dope back to <insert random prohibition state here>, he stuck allllll of his gummies in the very back of his SUV. They were fine in more moderate temped Colorado, but as he got closer to the 7th Circle of Hell, the heat took over. His boxes and canisters of gummies were de.stroyed.

But, he doesn’t have another source in said state, so he did what any resourceful stoner would do: He stuck them in the fridge to solidify when he got home.

They were obvious-ly no longer gummy shaped, so he just kept cutting pieces
of this weird gummy log to dose. The first few times he did it, he swore that he didn’t feel a thing. But, at some point, he hit the THC lottery with a now very high dose slice of gummy.

What happened, you ask? Well, he was way too high and my mom was annoyed. And trust me. You don’t want my mom getting annoyed. Remem-ber how I was grounded for an eternity for the towel thing?

Yeah.

It scared him off that gummy log
for good. And, I should note, he is not
a small man. So, unless you have an extremely high tolerance for weed or are like the world’s most giant human, I 10 out of 10 do not recommend you eat those things.

Just buy some new ones, man. It’ll be worth every penny not to lose an entire day to being so stoned you can’t move.

And, if your significant other simply tolerates your weed habits, it’ll REALLY be worth it to avoid stirring a bees nest of nagging.

The end. Don’t eat it. The end for real this time.

 

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