Weed Weight, Getting Sick, Paranoia, How to Tell What’s Good, and Where to Smoke

by Sir Blaze Ridcully and DGO Pufnstuf

I’m a big-time pothead, but it’s time I lose all the weight I gained from COVID-19 (and the munchies). Are there certain weed items I should avoid if I want to do this?

Puf: Umm, if you find them, please let us know what they are. Last night I woke up at 11 p.m. after passing out on edibles and ate an entire second dinner. No shame in my munchie game, I guess. I don’t even know anymore.

I guess the only real advice I can give you is that you should probably stay away from heavy indicas. I say that from personal experience and NOT from scientific reasoning. All I know is that anecdotally, I tend to eat a lot — like so many gummy bears — after smoking an indica. When I smoke a hybrid or a sativa I tend to get much less hungry.

That said, I freaking love indicas so you can pry them out of my cold, dead, bloated-with-gummy-bear hands, I guess. Let me live my damn fluffy life already, shit.

Also, I’m being pretty unfair to indicas with my answer. There are plenty of indicas that probably won’t give you the munchies, but what they are, I don’t know.
The thing about weed is that it affects everyone differently, and what gives me the munchies may not give you the munchies. Anything with THC in it runs the risk of giving you a serious case of hunger, so know that before you imbibe. It’s really trial and error for every person. So try different strains, different percentages of THC, and different edibles and tinctures if you’re into that. Find what makes you less hungry and stick with it. That’s the only way to really get the right answer to this question.

One other thing you may want to try is to choose a strain with high CBD and less THC. The cannabinoid CBD typically doesn’t induce the munchies the way that a high dose of THC typically does, but it also won’t make you as high. If you can handle that, you may have some success going that route.

Now go out and try it. And don’t forget to report back, thanks. Our fluffy butts could use it.

Blaze: When you figure out how to drop a bunch of weight while still being a stoner, let me know. Please. Because I need to do this as well, though I’m not too sure I can do both at the moment. See, when we ingest cannabis, it attaches itself to then activates our bodies’ CB1 receptors. These can be found in the brain AND stomach, which is why marijuana gives us the munchies or, as I like to say, turns our stomachs into black holes in which no amount of chips or brownies can quench.

I tend to buy cheap pipes to smoke weed out of. Inevitably, they always end up breaking, getting lost, or end up getting gross enough to where I don’t want to clean them. Is that a bad way to use weed?

Blaze: Cheap pipes for life! Did I just discover a new band name? As I used to do the same thing, I personally don’t think it’s a bad way to ingest weed, but
it’s not so great for the environment to keep buying and throwing away cheap pipes. If it’s becoming a real problem or you’re feeling guilty or you’re constantly having to replace your hardware, consider going the edible route (much harder to lose) or buying an expensive vape that will inspire you to not lose or break it.

Puf: I mean, no offense, but the way you’re using weed sounds pretty bad, to be honest. Stop using cheap pipes! It’ll change your damn life. There are so many affordable rigs or pipes out there that are worth every penny — and they don’t take many pennies to afford.

If I were you, I’d save up for an entry-level dry herb vape. They aren’t great, and the parts aren’t always the most sturdy, but good god, it’s a lot better than having to scrape sticky resin out of the bottom of a glass one-hitter. I’ve tried that time and again, and NONE of the tricks on the internet work. I’ve dumped them into glasses of alcohol. I’ve used dish soap. I’ve used special soap. Nothing works.
What does work is baking that weed like an oven in a dry herb vape. When you’re done, you just dump out the brown, baked weed and call it a day. So easy.
So, I highly recommend that route.

What I do not recommend is smoking out of whatever is cheap. You don’t want to end up smoking out of something that isn’t great for your lungs or your body, and you run that risk when you cheap out. The manufacturer of that cheap pipe could have drilled out the holes in the glass, which doesn’t just weaken it — it also leaves behind glass dust or other contaminants in some cases. And that isn’t shit you want in your lungs. I promise.
If you really can’t afford better pieces, roll a joint and call it a day. At least you know what you’re smoking out of when you do that — and you can replace a pack of Zig-Zags way cheaper than you can replace a pipe. So, I guess that’s a win-win.
I get headaches. A lot. And sometimes they’re debilitating. I’m not big on smoking weed but would marijuana help with my headaches?

Puf: Dude. Duuuuuuude. You have no idea the magic that cannabis works on headaches.

Check it. So, I spend a lot of time in front of computer screens, which means I end up with a lot of screen-induced headaches. And, I also get headaches from booze. Doesn’t matter if it’s beer, vodka, wine, or something else entirely. About an hour after I have a drink, I end up with a throbbing, gross, frustrating headache.

You know what helps? You got it. Weed.
And it also helps with migraines, which I’ve gotten more often after having Covid (last year! I’m fine now!). I didn’t really suffer from migraines prior to my dance with the viral devil, but I do now. I’ll give you one guess as to what helps.
That’s right! Weed!

I can’t tell you it will work for you, though. I’m not a doctor and I don’t know your genetic makeup. Even if I did, though, I still couldn’t tell you it would help because, well, I don’t understand freaking genetics. The only way to know if it will work is to try it.

I can tell you though, that there is some science that backs up my anecdotal evidence that headaches are helped by weed. According to a 2020 study published in Brain Sciences, medical cannabis use results in long-term reduction of migraine frequency. And, medical cannabis use is also associated with less disability and lower anti-migraine medication intake.

And, a 2019 study published in Science Daily also noted the positive effects of cannabis on headaches. According to data from the study, inhaled cannabis reduces self-reported headache severity by 47.3% and migraine severity by 49.6%. The study also found no evidence that cannabis caused ‘overuse headache,’ a pitfall of more conventional treatments.

So, between the scientific evidence and my own anecdotal evidence, I feel pretty confident saying that there is a chance it will also work for you. Can I guarantee it? No. But I can tell you to try it. No one should live with debilitating headaches if they don’t have to. Worth a shot anyway.

Blaze: I feel this person’s pain. I am a long-time sufferer of painful headaches from when I was a kid that eventually morphed into vomit-inducing migraines.
Over the years, however, I have found that the answer to your question is “yes.” Marijuana can help you with your headaches. There has been many an instance where I was hellbent on never moving again because of a migraine, but Puf passed me their vape and within five minutes I was feeling well enough to rally. Science backs me up on this as a 2019 Washington State University study found that cannabis cut headache and migraine pain by half. I say this while acknowledging that everyone’s bodies work differently, and while there is always the chance it might not work for you, it can’t hurt to try. If you’re not a big fan of smoking weed, you’re a weed newbie, or you straight up just don’t want to get high when you have the headache from hell, I suggest toking on a few puffs of CBD only strains and either avoid THC or smoke a strain that has low THC content. And if you do, just take a few hits.

When I go into a dispensary, I notice that some weed strains are far more expensive than others. What makes some weed strains more expensive than others?

Puf: Um, the amazingness levels of the different strains? Duh? I kid. Mostly.

This is a complicated answer that requires a lot more business acumen than I possess, but in general, weed is a lot like any other product. Booze, food, or clothing all come in different price points and with different qualifiers for the cost.

With weed, you have your high end strains, which are either specialty strains that are hard to find, possess awesome qualities, or have some other weed superpower I don’t know about. And then you have your everyday strains, which are still awesome, bros, but aren’t as marketable or unusual.

There’s a lot more that goes into it, like the method of cultivation, the genetics, the lineage, the quality, and who grew the stuff, but know this: you can’t go wrong with either one. High end or low end, they’re both going to do your body some good, and you shouldn’t discount a strain because it’s five times cheaper than another one.

You should also consider doing some of your own scientific research (read: smoke some of both the high end and budget bud) to see if you can tell a difference. I freaking LOVE high end strains and can sometimes tell the difference, but I also freaking LOVE budget strains, so I’m not a good judge in this category.

Maybe Blaze will be more helpful. I’m off my game these days when it comes to educational topics. Blame it on the never-ending isolation and too much of a good-good thing.

Blaze: Oh man, that’s a complicated question, my dude! There’s a lot of factors that go into marijuana pricing structures and what makes a connoisseur shelf strain. First off, how it’s grown and who grew it plays a big role in that.
Some growers, like Durango Cannabis Company and The Green House Pagosa, have established notorious reputations in the marijuana community for growing some excellent bud. Cultivation and packaging also play a role. Are you buying whole bud or are you purchasing popcorn, shake, or trim? An ounce of whole bud is going to cost you much more than an ounce of popcorn.

And, finally, we get to genetics. While all weed is great, let’s be real here. Some strains have a much more widely appreciated lineage, like OG Kush and Durban Poison. You’re going to pay more for quality strains like that because, well, everyone wants them!

I’m having some lady troubles – when it’s that time of the month I get the worst cramps and just feel terrible. Can weed help with that?

Blaze: Oof, you have our deepest condolences. First off, we highly recommend you consult your physician first. I know looks can be deceiving, but Puf and I are unfortunately not doctors. BUT we can give you a few recommendations based on scientific studies.

Secondly, we need you to read this entirely useless study that was done on the subject in 1847.

Thirdly, while not a lot of studies have been done specifically on cannabis’s effect on menstrual cramps, there is plenty of evidence to show that marijuana has a potent impact on pain. In 2017, a study was published in the Cannabis Cannabinoid Res. studying this very subject, and in 2015, The Journal of Pain published a study on the safety of people using cannabis as a pain management substance.

Puf: Weed. Can. Help. With. EVERYTHING. I’m not sure how long you’ve been reading our weed-y rants, but I’ve noted a couple of times in some early reviews that I suffer from a little thing called upper- bowel Crohns. I know you want to know about my guts and all, but it is what it is.

Anyway, it’s not the same as hormonal cramps, but it does suck a big ol’ butt when it flares up. I can’t eat. I can barely function. And it’s not uncommon for me to be stuck in the emergency room for fluids when it gets really bad. I have learned to live with it, but you know what? Weed helps a metric shit ton (pun intended), and I will not let anyone pry it out of my cold, dead hands for that reason alone. When my body freaks out, all it takes is a joint or a puff of a vape to be able to eat or drink normally. I don’t know why, and I don’t know how, but I know it works. I don’t even really care what the mechanism is, to be honest.
It just works and that’s enough for me. Now, I can’t promise you it will knock out your cramps, but I can tell you that there is a very good chance it will.

This stuff works to help cancer patients endure pain or get through chemo and it helps chronic pain patients wean off of dangerous opioid painkillers. Chances are good that if you throw back an edible or puff-puff-pass the next time you have cramps you’ll get some relief. Worth a try, you know?

My dog gets so hyper and I’m trying to find ways to get him to chill out! Can dogs ingest cannabis and is it healthy for them?

Puf: Obligatory “I am not a (dog) doctor” here, but I think I can answer this. So, yes and no. While THC and other cannabinoids can help dogs chill out, you need to be careful about the amount and the type of cannabis product your giving el doggo.

Here’s the issue. Your dog is a lot more sensitive to THC than you are, so if your dog gets high, it gets reaaaaaaaaaal effing high. Too much of a good thing means a stressed out, potentially MORE hyper dog on your hands and a traumatized pet parent. That is no bueno for anyone or anydog involved.

That said, there’s a chance that THC can also be toxic to dogs, so again, you need to be careful about what you’re giving your pet when it comes to cannabis. Luckily, there are PLENTY of pet tincture options to give your dog to help them chill the hell out. I give my big ol’ beast of a dog a bacon-flavored pet tincture that has just CBD in it and it’s a lifesaver. He goes from 130 hyper horse to calm and relaxed in the blink of an eye.
CBD is also good for his health, which is primarily what I give it to him for. But if you’re planning to give your dog THC? Don’t. Stick with CBD products instead. It’s not worth the potential headache of an anxious, hyper dog or the potential health ramifications. But that’s just really my opinion, I guess.

Blaze: Aw, poor kiddo. And poor you! Luckily, we have a good answer for you: yes! CBD is safe for your precious canine. You can get CBD treats (that will not make your dog high) in the form of dog treats, so your puppers will love them. You may have to experiment with which ones work best for your dog and lifestyle, but rest assured, CBD will definitely calm your dog down.

Can weed make you sick?

Blaze: I’m interpreting this question as “can weed make you throw up,” but correct me if I’m wrong. And the answer is, yes. THC is the psychoactive ingredient in marijuana and it will make you high, or intoxicated, if you will (spoiler alert). I’ve certainly had bouts with edibles that were way too potent for my liking (or I was really stupid and took too much — who knows). They made the world tilt and spin in a way I didn’t appreciate, especially when I had to walk across an entire food court to buy Thai boba tea for Puf and I once and I felt like I was in “Inception.” For me, I tend not to have that issue as much with flower, except for one instance when I threw up outside a friend’s home after smoking a joint with them. On that occasion, I was just inhaling too hard. This is all in confidence, right?

Puf: OK, well as Blaze said, I’m not super sure what you mean by this question, but I’ll assume you mean can weed make you “sick” as in feeling like you licked the inside of a dump truck and not give you like, a SARS-level illness or something. Feel free to email me angrily if I’m wrong.

Before I go any further, though … because we’re talking about health issues, please enter the obligatory “I am not a doctor, weed or otherwise” here. This does not constitute medical advice, but I’d hope you’d ask someone way smarter and with way more science knowledge than I have if you were looking for such a thing.

Anyway, here’s the deal. Can weed make you sick? Um, yeah, kind of.

For starters, contaminated weed — like weed with mold spores or whatever — can make you sick. But Colorado has a good system in place for ensuring such things won’t make it onto the shelves, so you don’t really have to worry much about that if you’re buying from reputable sources (i.e. the dang dispensary).

Otherwise, weed can make you FEEL sick, but actually making you sick-sick? Eh. Doubtful.

I know this for certain because weed ​​has made me feel like an actual dog butt before, and it sucked. The first time it happened I mixed it with cheap beer, which was not a good idea. So, at the time I was living in another state that shall not be named, and I was drinking huge goblets of Shiner. A friend showed up with a fat ol’ joint of god knows what, and we proceeded to smoke the whole thing between the three of us — on top of being semi-drunk.

I felt fine initially — in fact, I felt more than fine. I felt stoned as a mufucka, and my head was swirling around like the inside of Dumbledore’s pensieve. But, as the night went on, I began to feel worse, and worse, and even worse. At some point we ended up at another bar on the opposite end of town, and at that point, I was acting like a complete derp. I was sweaty, paranoid, felt like I was going to puke, and worst of all, I couldn’t even drink my dang beer. It. SUCKED.

Did I end up puking? I did not. But if I had, I would have deserved it, cause you shouldn’t mix weed and booze unless you have a real knack for knowing your limits.

You will not be surprised to hear that I do not have a knack for such a thing. Boo, hiss.

The second and final time that I got “sick” from weed I was just being a damned fool. Blaze and I were hanging out and decided to try and cook some stuff that we didn’t know how to cook. We were just being dumb, listening to music and hanging out in my kitchen while puffing a vape. Said vape was — unbeknownst to me — filled with a creeper strain, and I didn’t feel like I was high at ALL until it hit me right in the dang face. And I’m dead serious when I say it hit me in the face.

There I was, just laughing and laughing at how bad Blaze is with chopping onions, and suddenly, I couldn’t use my legs. My stomach got queasy and I had to lay down so I didn’t die of vertigo or some junk.

From there, my stomach got gnarly as hell, and I felt like I’d licked the inside of a dirty toilet bowl. I felt RANCID.

Again, I did not puke, but again, I would have deserved it if I had. Know your limits. And don’t underestimate the power of a creeper.

That’s basically all I’ve got for whether weed can make you sick.

As with anything, if you overdo it, you can end up feeling like crap, can puke like Blaze did, or you may even end up calling an emergency line you don’t need to call like those fools we hear about occasionally. Just don’t overindulge and chances are you’ll be fine.

The last time I smoked weed, I got super paranoid. How do I keep from becoming paranoid and just enjoy getting stoned instead?

Blaze: This is an answer that can very much differ from person to person. First, how are you ingesting? I, personally, get much more paranoid and anxious
when I take edibles. No amount of vaping or smoking will make me feel that way but a chocolate truffle laced with THC could very well be the end of me. Second, how much weed are you using? If you’re an experienced stoner, you may find your tolerance toward the ganja increases. This is an unfortunate fact of life. However, if you’re a beginner, you should really be cautious with how much marijuana you ingest. That can greatly contribute to your reaction, as well, if you’re not used to or completely comfortable with marijuana products.

Puf: Well, for starters, you need some CBD on hand, my friend. That’s right; CBD.

I know this because I have asked this same question of the fine folks at the dispensary. Sativas make me horribly paranoid and weird as of late, and as someone who writes about weed for a living, I can’t really avoid them.

But, it turns out that CBD, the cannabinoid that people tout is useful for just about everything, can help.

Before I get to that, though, I want to say that if you’re super sensitive to THC, you should start by not taking that much to begin with. Lower your dosage and you may not even need CBD to cut down the paranoia that comes from it.

What I’ve found is that smoking too much of a good thing increases my paranoia, as does taking too many edibles. I don’t like hearing the sound of my own heartbeat in my eardrums, and when it happens, it makes me super jumpy and unnerved. Not a fun combo.

But if I go slow, I end up in a much better, much happier place. So, before you invest in CBD, try that. You’re probably taking too much.

If that doesn’t work? Well, get you a bottle of CBD tincture, stat. It works like a charm.

Here’s what you do. If you find yourself scaling the walls after smoking a blunt or hitting a vape, you just take a few drops or droppers full of CBD (whatever the dosage on the bottle says), it will help to temper the crushing paranoia that you’re feeling.

It really is a magic anecdote, that stuff.

You can also look for products that have some CBD in them, alongside the THC. Anecdotally, those tend to make me less paranoid than some other
cannabis products, but they also make me sleepy, so buyer beware.

And, again, take less. If you’re getting paranoid on a regular basis, the answer may just be that you’re overdoing it. And that is a lot more simple than finding the right dosage of CBD to cut down on the negative effects after the fact.

How can I tell if the flower I buy is good or not?

Blaze: OK, I’m glad we got this question because I had a recent experience with this. Sometimes the best way to recognize good weed is to smoke bad or cheap flower. I recently made the mistake of trying a new dispensary for the fun of it (I’m not back to my regular dispensary, thank you). I ordered an ounce of flower and I should have known better because the price tag was pretty cheap. Once I opened it when I got home, I immediately regretted all my life decisions. It was instantly apparent to me that the flower I’d purchased hadn’t been cured properly and the container was packed with seeds. Thankfully, it didn’t smoke too terribly, but it was pretty obvious what I was missing out on. In my opinion, good weed will have a vibrancy to it in both color, flavor, and smell. It also tends to be more expensive, unfortunately for all of our wallets.

Puf: Our reviews, duh.

I kid, I kid — sort of. So, to me, this is a tricky one, because “good” is all relative. What you consider good weed may not be what I consider good weed, and vice versa.

For starters, you don’t want weed that has a bunch of sticks and stems in it, and seeds are annoying as hell, too. Those things are not generally a sign of a quality product — or perhaps a product that has been handled with care.

But those are the basics, and you undoubtedly already know that, if not from your own experience, then from a Snoop song or two. (No stems, no seeds, no sticks!)

There are ways to look at your cured flower and tell if it’s got certain qualities you’re looking for. Thing is, though, that unless you’re intimately familiar with the way a strain should look, smell, and feel, you’re probably not going to want to take that route. It requires a steep learning curve.

And, the reality is that “good” weed is the weed that works for you and your brain — not the weed that looks prettiest on the shelf.

Not that I’m knocking beautiful weed, mind you. I freaking love a strain with fat, fluffy nugs covered in kief with bright orange or red hairs running through it.
But even those can be disappointing on occasion after you light them up.

In my humble opinion, the best thing you can do to ensure you get “good” weed is to go through the process of trial and error after reading a ton of reviews on the strains that you may want to try out.

We have plenty of those to fall back on. Or, you can check out just about any other weed publication to find others if you don’t vibe with ours. Do your research and try them out. In time, you’ll start to figure out what you consider good weed — and what you want to spend your hard-earned money on.

I’m traveling to Colorado and obviously want to swing by some pot shops, but with social consumption being so frowned upon there, where do I even smoke it?

Blaze: You, dear reader, have touched on an issue that Colorado has wrestled with for a long time. Despite being the first state to legalize recreational marijuana, states who have gone legal after we paved the way are leaps and bounds ahead of Colorado’s marijuana legislation. We’re still afraid of cannabis in a lot of ways and our legislation demonstrates that. Denver is just now dipping its toes into weed delivery nearly 10 years after marijuana was legalized.
Denver is where you’ll mostly find social clubs that allow for marijuana consumption. There are also cannabis-friendly hotels, campsites, and Airbnbs located throughout Colorado where you can stay out that will allow cannabis smoking and ingestion on their property.

Puf: Yeah, I’m just going to tell you right now that your options are limited. RIP to at least part of your weed-focused trip, probably.

Colorado hasn’t been too great about implementing a rational public consumption policy. In fact, we’re still really behind on things like weed tasting rooms or weed “bars,” for lack of a better term. You might find a couple of private venues here or there that will allow you to smoke to your heart’s content, but they aren’t going to be widespread — and most of them require membership or other buy-ins to take advantage of what they offer. So, that’s probably going to be no bueno — and I’m not even sure if they’re open right now, considering the pandemic mess we’re in.

But, all hope is not lost.

The good news is that if you’re in certain parts of Colorado it’s going to be a lot easier to find legal ways to consume. The Denver area has a ton of pot tourism options to take advantage of, including some that allow for consumption in certain capacities or certain areas.

And, there are a handful of weed-friendly hotels and Airbnb’s out there, too. I will say that I am personally not a huge fan of Airbnb (let me live — and let the people have affordable rent!) but you can certainly find some that are 420-friendly or whatever. That’s probably your best bet.

Or, you can check out what’s available on sites like budandbreakfast.com, which is the smoker-friendly version of Airbnb. The options on that site were more limited the last time I looked, but it’s still a good resource to consult.

And, last but not least, there are several known weed-friendly hotels and bed and breakfasts in Colorado, so maybe check with them, too. Here are a few to get you started:

– The Adagio Bud and Breakfast in Denver

– The Stout House BNB in Denver

– Quality Inn Denver Central in Denver

– Quality Inn & Suites Denver International Airport in Denver

– Ramada Plaza by Wyndham Northglenn in Denver

– TownePlace Suites by Marriott Denver Downtown in Denver,

– The Solarium International Inn & Hostel in Fort Collins

– Fernweh Inn & Hostel in Fort Collins

– The Shangri-La Inn at Gaia’s Farm & Gardens in Laporte

– Arrowhead Manor in Morrison

– Aspen Canyon Resorts in Silverthorne

So, yeah. There you go. The options in Colorado are inexplicably limited, but there are some, at least. And it’ll get better in time, so maybe consider holding off on your trip til the pandemic dies down and then cross your fingers for more options


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