The time for day drinking has finally arrived here in Durango, and there are many, many occasions for it, whether it be graduation, Cinco de Mayo, Taste of Durango, River Days, Mother’s Day or simply ‘Tuesday.’ A good all-day booze fest is a thing of beauty: beer bongs, shotguns, keg stands, all that white girl, Jell-O shots, anonymous drunken makeouts in any place that hints at seclusion, the one douchebag who wants to fight everybody, a shirtless roommate attempting to roundhouse kick a piñata filled with shooters and joints, lawn games that turn into the Olympics, that one drunk girl from sea level who tries to make out with everybody. And oh, the food, the delicious, amazing, mouth-watering food.
But, anyone who’s been day drinking with me will tell you, I’m not good at it. I bow out early, wandering off in a sunlit yet somehow blackish haze, to find my bed and sleep the end of the daylight hours away, waking up alone, sweating and covered in beer with nacho cheese and/or bbq sauce crusting in my beard. I may not be the best at it, but I when I do it, I do it with professionals. People who are in for the long haul. People who plan for every contingency. People who keep their shit together (for the most part).
The best way to plan for a good day drink is to start at the end: How the hell am I getting home? Last year at River Days, I found myself at Santa Rita Park, starving, tired, cold and wet, and completely trashed. With no mode of transport, no phone and no money, I had to think on my toes, and really just use them to get me home. I walked back downtown in my bathing suit and immediately passed out. Had I thought ahead, I would have arranged for some sort of ride, maybe left my bike chained up in the park somewhere. Even a wet-assed drunken bike ride is preferable to walking in that pre-blackout haze.
It also would have been a great idea to have eaten food at the park. I love love love summer festival food: hotdogs, funnel cakes, turkey legs, etc. etc. etc. I mean, I had friends working the Ska Brewing tent: I could have left them money in advance. I could have asked for a small advance on the bounties of our friendship. I could have traded my access to cheap beer for someone’s access to cheap food. Getting proper sustenance is paramount to enjoying a proper day drink and this is likely where I failed. We should have had food on our boat! We should have barbecued at the beach! Something, anything, and I would have been able to continue on with my day.
Had I received the sustenance I so required, I would have been set: The Ska beer tent was pouring beautiful cold libations, but had I not been so lucky? I would have eaten, and began sobering up/started getting a hangover. And yes, you can get a hangover on the same day as getting drunk. It’s the worst! Imagine all the anxiety, body aches and pains, and stomach ills of a hangover, when just hours ago you were doing shot-skis with strangers. The best way to avoid this is to keep drinking. When you’re tired of drinking cheap beer, switch to expensive beer, when that’s gone, drink some punch, and on and on until all the booze is gone. Because you have to keep drinking to keep the hangover away, make sure you never run out of booze. If you have to start making margaritas out of Jagermeister, you’ll do it. If you have to drink a warm Bud Light Lime that the rando girl from Texas fished out of the back seat of her car, you’ll do it. So if you don’t want to drink a warm Bud Light Lime, or a Jagerita, plan ahead. Have a case of PBR to throw on ice when your keg of Mexican Logger kicks. Have a pitcher of vodka punch sitting in the back of your fridge.
So yeah, always wear a PFD, give your mom flowers for Mother’s Day and conGRADulations.
Robert Alan Wendeborn puts the bubbles in the beer at Ska Brewing Company. His first book of poetry, The Blank Target, was published this past spring by The Lettered Streets Press and is available at Maria’s Bookshop. [email protected]