What you should be drinking on St. Patrick’s Day

by Amanda Push

The Four Corners might not be Chicago or New Orleans when it comes to hot-mess St. Patrick’s Day partying, but we still drink like Irish-lovin’ mofos. So, if you’re hurtin’ for something to drink this upcoming St. Patty’s Day instead of just a six-pack with green clovers on the cans, make a note of these on-message Irish-y drinks. We can already smell the sickening amount of booze you’re probably going to be drinking from here.

Beer (obviously)OK, fine. You can have your beer. Maybe sugar-fueled shots aren’t for you, but we want it on record that you’re boring. Just make sure to go super Irish and get a pint from Murphy’s or a classic like Guinness. You can’t get much more Irish than that. Stouts, ales, and lagers are probably going to be your best beer bets.

A little Shamrock Juice never hurt anyoneWith some gin, vodka, rum, tequila, blue caracao, and orange juice, you’re gonna be set to paint the town green this St. Patrick’s Day. A quick warning: this drink will knock you on your ass and make you wish you’d never been born, but we think it’ll be worth it.

Lucky Charms, but for adultsThese are definitely the “if you’re hosting a party, make these” kind of shots, because we sure as hell don’t know of a bartender who’s going to crush up cereal and rim your shot glass with it on a night as busy as St. Patrick’s Day. But maybe you do. In any case, to make these at home, soak some Lucky Charms cereal into your milk to infuse the milk with the flavor. Go ahead and take the cereal out of the milk (preferably by eating it) and mix the milk with some Bailey’s. Crush the cereal, dip the shot glass into it, and pour yo’self a well-earned shot, because that was a lot of work.

Irish Coffee (another duh)Irish is literally in the name of this one, so skip out on this drink at your own peril. Irish whiskey and coffee are really all you technically need for this one, but everyone knows that Irish cream makes this drink. Actually, you might want to save this one for your post-St. Patrick’s Day hangover. Trust us, you’ll need it.

Salute the Irish FlagThis funky-looking cocktail is layered to look like the Irish flag, its namesake. So, there’s really no better way to pretend like you’re Irish. For this cocktail, layer up Green Creme de Menthe, Licor 42, and Baileys Irish Cream, and you’ve got yourself an Irish flag to knock back. Be warned, though: layering shots is not as easy as it looks.

Some Irish Floats for dessertThis Irish delight is more dessert and sugar than an actual alcoholic drink, but we feel that it’s the perfect way to wrap up a day of drinking like the Irish. This float includes vanilla ice cream, Guinness, Baileys, and hot fudge. Please drink this responsibly.

— Amanda Push


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